Home Shopping Ladies of Wrestling

[Cubsfan]

I would like to start up the Home Shopping Ladies of Wrestling or the H-SLOW league. I know it's not very catchy but it's the best I could come up with. I was thinking back to the early days of the Jello wrestling thread on the QVC board where I had a home shopping battle.

Lisa "The Southern Belle" Mason vs. Lynn Murphy in a paddle on a pole match.

The Minnesota Mamma challange Colleen Lopez vs. Mary Beth Roe loser has to wear a tight T-shirt while water from the part of the Mississippi river that runs between Minneapolis and St. Paul is chilled and then poured over the losers T-shirt.

A special vendors match Susan Graver vs. Carolyn Strauss in an anything goes match. See which lady uses her stretchy clothing to choke the other.

Lisa "The Diva" Robertson and Pat James Dementri vs. Shannon "The Collector" Smith and Connie "The blonde bombshell" Craig in a tag team bra and panties match. Hopefully LR and PJD will win it would be the only time we get to see SS and CC's legs.

Marlo Tejera Smith, Michelle Ragland, Tina Berry, Jayne Brown, Leah Williams and Lena McIlwain in a royal rumble to see who is the #1 woman of color host. This will be the first match and will be over rather quickly. Much like the way management of both channels promote these ladies. :)

In a special match Bill Green and Daniel Kiviat vs. Dave Venable and Stan Herman in a last team standing slap fight. Don't worry this is a dark match.

In the main event Jacque Gonzalez vs. Callie Northagen in a falls count anywhere match with both contestants will be wearing bikinis. :)

Cubsfan

Nobody likes Milhouse-Music teacher (Simpsons)

[QVC Dude]

LOL! Great ideas! I would love to see Lisa Mason vs. Lynn Murphy, also Colleen Lopez vs. MBR. I think Lena McIlwain would win the battle royal. I see her more often than any other black host. Great main event too! Now, here's my ultimate dream card:

Lisa Mason vs. Kathy Wolf in a bra and panties match

Jacque Gonzales vs. Suzanne Runyan in an evening gown match

Sheila Johnson vs. Shannon Smith in a battle of the hosts with common last names

Patti Reilly vs. Kelly Repassy in a "Battle of the Asses" match

Lisa Robertson vs. Colleen Lopez

Antonella Nester vs. Lynn Murphy

Carolyn Gracey vs. Chris Scanlon

I would also have a models battle royal with all the models from both networks, and I would have a big return by Kathy Levine where she announces whether she is returning to QVC or HSN. Both sides would make arguments trying to get her to come to them.

[Putbeds]

In wrestling lingo, a "dark match" is a match that isn't taped for television if it's a televised show. A friend of mine has tapes of women who wrestle or catfight in bed, on the floor or in swimming pools. Good Stuff!!! I would like to see HSN women take on QVC women in the same manner. --- "See You In Hell--Candy Boys!!" -Homer J. Simpson

[Cubsfan]

Shannon could sneak on someone from QVC and hit them in the head with one of Wolfgang Pucks cookware. :)

Cubsfan

Nobody likes Milhouse-Music teacher (Simpsons)

[QVC Dude]

Or choke them with one of her many pantsuits! :)

I think each network should have their own battle royal of their models. 30 models from each side, and the winner of each one will face each other for the Model Championship. During that match, Dorian will return and cost the QVC model the match. Maybe it could be Angela, and that would start a feud between them, based on their backstage fight two years ago. Dorian could play a Matt Hardy type of role, where she's against both QVC and HSN. She'll be an outsider that hates both of them. Then she could start an NWO-type stable, recruiting other renegade models to join her. :)

[Cubsfan]

I would love to see Regina in her wrestling gear Dude. ;)

Cubsfan

Nobody likes Milhouse-Music teacher (Simpsons)

[QVC Dude]

I bet you would. ;)

[Cubsfan]

You know it's true! :)

Cubsfan

Nobody likes Milhouse-Music teacher (Simpsons)

[QVC Dude]

As Kurt Angle would say, Oh, it's true! It's damn true! :)

[Cubsfan]

When Rhonda has her foundation show they have a video for a one of her items and Regina is shown working out in it. She is lifting a dumbell. I can imagine her in a "nice" wrestling outfit. :)

Cubsfan

Help I'm in a sack-Chris Elliott (Get a Life)

[QVC Dude]

She'd have a great entrance video, I'm sure. :)

[Cubsfan]

I love her hourglass figure. She would be great entering the ring and just looking good. :)

Cubsfan

Help I'm in a sack-Chris Elliott (Get a Life)

[Vicki L.]

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QVC Dude:
LOL! Great ideas! I would love to see Lisa Mason vs. Lynn Murphy, also Colleen Lopez vs. MBR. I think Lena McIlwain would win the battle royal. I see her more often than any other black host. Great main event too! Now, here's my ultimate dream card:

Lisa Mason vs. Kathy Wolf in a bra and panties match

Jacque Gonzales vs. Suzanne Runyan in an evening gown match

Sheila Johnson vs. Shannon Smith in a battle of the hosts with common last names

Patti Reilly vs. Kelly Repassy in a "Battle of the Asses" match

Lisa Robertson vs. Colleen Lopez

Antonella Nester vs. Lynn Murphy

Nestor vs. Murphy in what kind of match? Murphy's way hotter.












Carolyn Gracey vs. Chris Scanlon

I would also have a models battle royal with all the models from both networks, and I would have a big return by Kathy Levine where she announces whether she is returning to QVC or HSN. Both sides would make arguments trying to get her to come to them.
tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1328474
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[Cubsfan]

Vicki it doesn't matter who is hotter it's just a fun thread what if the ladies of home shopping did wrestle. The match would be a regular one no special rules. :)

Cubsfan

Help I'm in a sack-Chris Elliott (Get a Life)

[3ach39]

i like to see lorraine and becca from qvc vs regina and randi in a chocolate pudding match- u win my stripping both ur oppenents naked!
that would be hot!

[QVC Dude]

But the chocolate pudding would cover up the good parts. ;)

Cubsfan, thanks for explaining my match to Vicki. :)

[Cubsfan]

That's right same with Mud.

Cubsfan

Help I'm in a sack-Chris Elliott (Get a Life)

[Vicki L.]

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Cubsfan:
Vicki it doesn't matter who is hotter it's just a fun thread what if the ladies of home shopping did wrestle. The match would be a regular one no special rules. :)

Cubsfan

Help I'm in a sack-Chris Elliott (Get a Life)
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Thanks for the sincere reply Cubsfan but it's just that this person was giving more graphic descriptions of the wrestling matches until he hit on Murphy and Nestor. I wondered why. And why pair those two up? The other pairings made more sense. Why not Antonella Nestor vs. the cuter Shivan Sarna. They seem more alike a little anyway. Have a nice day.

[QVC Dude]

I ran out of ideas for matches, and those two were left over, so I just threw them together.

[Cubsfan]

Just like in real wrestling you can get different matchups where a larger sized wrestler might go against a smaller one. The only limits are the imagination. :)

Cubsfan

I must use these powers only to annoy-Bart Simpson

[QVC Dude]

Lynn Murphy beating Antonella Nester would probably be considered an upset. :)

[Cubsfan]

It depends Lynn might have some mat skills. :)

Cubsfan

I must use these powers only to annoy-Bart Simpson

[QVC Dude]

Or "mattress" skills! ;)

[Cubsfan]

ZING!

He's here all week ladies and gentlemen. Don't forget to tip your waitress. :)

Cubsfan

I must use these powers only to annoy-Bart Simpson

[QVC Dude]

Thank you, New York! Good night!

[Cubsfan]

I would like to see a three way dance where Shannon Smith, Connie Craig, and Pat James DiMentri would be in a match. The two "losers" would have to wear the famous Susan Lucci dress.

I would be the referee and I would call it right down the line. Just as long as Pat wins because I've seen Pat's legs and they are very nice. :)

Cubsfan

I must use these powers only to annoy-Bart Simpson

[QVC Dude]

Yeah, I wouldn't want Suzanne to win, because I would want to see her in that dress again! Then she could face Kathy Wolf in a match where they're both wearing the Susan Lucci dress, and they have to strip it off each other to win! :)

[Cubsfan]

A strip down to bikinis match with Lynn Murphy and Jacque Gonzales. :)

Cubsfan

I must use these powers only to annoy-Bart Simpson

[QVC Dude]

That would pop the buyrate for a PPV! :)

[Cubsfan]

That or the models in a bikini match too. :)

Cubsfan

I must use these powers only to annoy-Bart Simpson

[QVC Dude]

I want these QVC models in a bikini match: Joy, Lorraine, Kerin, Alexandra, Melanie, Nell, Carol, Deanna, Anne, and Colleen! :)

[Cubsfan]

I wouldn't mind Regina, Natalie, Carla, Renee, Donna, Linda, or Cheryl in a bikini either. :)

Cubsfan

He throws nickels around like manhole covers-Mike Ditka

[QVC Dude]

QVC models VS. HSN models! :)

[Cubsfan]

They would qualify. :)

Cubsfan

He throws nickels around like manhole covers-Mike Ditka

[Cubsfan]

Rhonda Shear vs. Kathy Gendel in a vendor's bra and panties match. :)

Both ladies sell bra and panties so whoever is stripped to their Breezies or Rhonda's line is the winner oops I'm mean the loser. :)

Cubsfan

He throws nickels around like manhole covers-Mike Ditka

[QVC Dude]

Throw Susan Graver and Suzanne Creamer in there too! :)

[Cubsfan]

I think Suzanne Creamer should go up against either Karen Popp or Allegra Buffington in a match where the winner would have to pinned on a bed. Since those ladies deal with bedding material. :)

Cubsfan

He throws nickels around like manhole covers-Mike Ditka

[QVC Dude]

And lots of bouncing on the bed! ;)

[Cubsfan]

That goes without saying Dude. ;)

I just hope the bed can handle the action. :)

Cubsfan

I don't play video games to learn-Tommy Tallarico (G4)

[QVC Dude]

So do I! :)

[Cubsfan]

I'm going to have to find that post I wrote almost a year ago. I believe it's on the Jello wrestling thread on the QVC board and copy it here.

Cubsfan

I don't play video games to learn-Tommy Tallarico (G4)

[QVC Dude]

What post is that? Hard to believe the Jello wrestling thread is almost a year old! :)

[Cubsfan]

Here it is this is from last October on the QVC board

Monday Night Raw coming back from a commercial J.R. and Jerry "The King" Lawler set up this next piece.

J.R. - A horrible situation happend with the QVC-HSN feud today.

King - J.R. it wasn't horrible that's just natural business rivalry.

J.R. - Well it seems we obviously disagree on what is considered horrible. Let's go to the tape.

Christa Pitts is selling that video tape/dvd player combo unit. Unknown to Christa, Callie Northagen is silently creeping down the stairs. Callie is obviously hiding something behind her back. Slowly Callie sneaks up on the unsuspecting Christa. Callie brings her hands around and in them is a Wolfgang Puck pan. With her hands raised Callie gets into position then WHACK! Christa goes down holding her head. Callie then starts stomping on the poor defenseless QVC host.

"YOU'RE NOTHING YOUR PRODUCTS YOUR NETWORK ALL HORSE "BLEEP"!" Callie screams at Christa while still stomping and using the pan between stomps.

Who's that running out of the back it's JACQUE GONZALES!!! Jacque grabs Callie spins her around and lands a forearm smash into the face of the stunned HSN host. Callie drops her pan and staggers backward. Jacque on the offensive then lands lefts and rights. Callie now reeling as Jacque sets her up for the suplex. Jacque picks her up holding Callie vertical then WHAM Callie is now flat on her back. Now Jacque has set her up for the Ric Flair Figure Four Leg Lock. Callie screams in pain feeling her knees being forced to bend unnaturally.

It seems that Callie is not here by herself down the stairs comes Shannon Smith carrying an Esteban Guitar no doubt an autographed one (It could be a Today's Special, Use Tootie oops they don't do that anymore sorry) Shannon smashes the guitar into the back of Jacque's head (Somewhere Jeff Jarrett would be smiling) Jacque crumples allowing Callie to get free. Jacque's body is lying next to Christa who is still so dazed that she can't move to help her friend.

Callie gets up to her feet slowly but the leg lock has impaired her ability to walk as she does so with a limp. Shannon then picks up the video/dvd player and hurls it down onto the QVC hosts. Both HSN hosts start walking backward yelling insults not only to Jacque and Christa but to QVC as well. As Shannon and Callie head to the foot of the stairs and eventually out the door at the top of the first flight both of them hold up the pan and what is left of the guitar laughing hysterically.

J.R. - Just brutal we have been told that both Christa and Jacque are fine and will be out of the hospital soon.

King - Sometimes you just have to take matters in your own hands. HSN was around first and they see QVC as cutting into their own territory. I see nothing wrong with dealing out a little justice.

J.R. - (Looks at the King in disgust) We are getting information from the back. We are going now to HSN

Callie and Shannon still with their weapons walk into an unamed office. They walk up to a desk someone is sitting behind it The person is hidden by a poorly lighted area. The mystery person speaks.

MP - How did it go?

Callie - Great just like you planned. No problems getting in or out.

Shannon - I didn't believe it would work but it went without a hitch.

Callie - You really hate QVC don't you?

MP - They ruined me. I was going to be a big star and they were so jealous they had to stop me anyway possible.

J.R. - Who could be that full of hatred King?

King - I don't know so shut up so we can hear them.

MP - Now comes the day of retribution. I WILL GET MY ULTIMATE REVENGE!!!!

The figure slowly leans into the lighted part of the desk.

J.R. - Oh my God King is that who I think it is.

King - I think you're right J.R.

Both J.R. and King - IT'S KATHY LEVINE!!!!

Kathy - YOU THOUGHT NOT LETTING ME SELL MY CLOTHING LINE THOUGH QVC THEN SUING ME BECAUSE YOU KNEW EVERY WOMAN IN AMERICA WOULD BE WEARING CLOTHES FROM MY LINE!

J.R. - I don't know about every woman.

King - If women wear her clothes you couldn't see any puppies!

Kathy - NOW WILL BE THE END OF QVC AND THEN I SHALL GET MY RIGHTFUL TV TALK SHOW! THEN THE LITTLE PEOPLE CAN GO ONTO THE BULLENTIN BOARDS (like tvtalkshows.com) AND TALK ON AND ON ABOUT HOW GREAT I AM! IF THEY DON'T THEN THEY SHALL BE THROWN INTO JAIL AND NOT BE ABLE TO SEE THE GREATNESS THAT IS I ANYMORE! HA HA HA HA HA (Continues on for about 2 minutes)

J.R. - She's nuttier than a squirrel's tree in November.

King - Well she's not playing with a full deck.

J.R. - King I just got news that WWE owner Vince McMahon has something to say about the situationand he is heading to the ring now. (Vince McMahon's Enterance music "No Chance" plays)

Vince - Good Evening I have talked to the CEO's of both HSN and QVC and I am happy to say that this situation will have a conclusion. (Audience Cheers)
We have agreed that a match between Callie Northagen and Shannon Smith vs. Christa Pitts and Jacque Gonzales will take place at our next PPV ($34.95 + local taxes check your area). But, what would be a fitting match? Steel cage, street fight, lumberjack..... well not for a tag team. Then we decided on having a guest referee and letting said guest referee decide.

J.R. - Guest referee? Who could that be?

Vince - The guest referee that not only I but both HSN and QVC decided on is... TRISH STRATUS!!! (Crowd errupts in approval)

Trish Stratus' Enterance music starts

King - YES PUPPIES!!!!!!

As Trish walks to the stage she is carrying her Women's Championship Belt and a large burlap bag. She enters the ring and Vince McMahon hands her the microphone.

Trish - I have been thinking long and hard about this match.

King - I've been thinking long and I'm hard. PUPPIES!

J.R. - King settle down

Trish - Now Callie and Shannon did attack Christa and Jacque but QVC has stolen vendors and invade HSN's territory. So it seems someone is going to have to be punished. The match I have chosen is a variation of Flag Capture. Except the opposing teams won't be going after flags no no. They will be going after this.

Trish reaches into the bag and pulls out four wooden paddles about 2 feet long and 6 inches wide.

*Author's note-I could of said "sack" instead of "bag" in which would of lead to a cheap "pulling something out of the sack" joke but I didn't. I must be slipping in my old age.*

Trish - Notice the paddles, two have a QVC logo and the other two has the HSN logo. Now the rules are each team guards the others paddles which will be placed on top of the poles placed on top of the turnbuckles. The poles will be placed about 5' high. So Christa and Jacque guard the paddles with the HSN logo and Callie and Shannon guard the ones with the QVC logo. The first team that gets their network's paddles gets to pull down the pants or lift up the skirt of their opponents whichever the case may be and give them the paddling that they deserve. So whoever the losers are you won't be seeing them sell anything sitting down for a while. See you at the PPV ladies.

Cut to Trish's music as she exits the ring among the whoops and hollers

J.R. - There you have it King a dual paddle on the pole match. The rivalry between QVC and HSN is like Oklahoma and Texas.

King - Shut up J.R. no one cares about Oklahoma and Texas but you! The important matter is we are going to see PADDLING AND PUPPIES!!! I like the larger puppies how about you J.R.?

J.R. - Good Grief it's like working with a 14 year old in puberty.

King - I don't care what you say it's PADDLING AND PUPPIES WOO HOO!!

J.R. - Next up Chris Benoit vs. HHH for the Heavyweight Championship.

The End?? Who knows.

Cubsfan

P.S. Sorry for the length I was in the zone. It took me a little time because I noticed that Lisa Mason was on so I watched a little of her show. Love my Lisa both of them.

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage-
(Bullet with Butterfly Wings) Smashing Pumpkins

__________________________________________________ _______________


That's it I used to use song lyrics at first and would change my sig line everyday. I hope that the reader will enjoy it.

Cubsfan

I don't play video games to learn-Tommy Tallarico (G4)

[QVC Dude]

LOL! I remember that! It's classic! Thanks for bringing it back, Cubby! :)

[Cubsfan]

No problem Dude I hope others enjoy it as well. :)

Cubsfan

I don't play video games to learn-Tommy Tallarico (G4)

[Putbeds]

Cubsfan, Really funny shit right there with your classic. --- "Our motto shall be : MORONIKA 4 MORONS" -Moe Howard (3 Stooges)

[Cubsfan]

Thanks guys. :)

Cubsfan

I don't play video games to learn-Tommy Tallarico (G4)

[Vicki L.]

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QVC Dude:
I ran out of ideas for matches, and those two were left over, so I just threw them together.
tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1336327
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Understandable but realize Shivan vs. Antonella is better.

[QVC Dude]

Yeah it is. I think Antonella would win by sitting on Shivan's face. ;)

[Cubsfan]

Antonella's version of Rikishi's stink face. :)

Cubsfan

Nobody knows who's real and who's faking-
(No One Came) Deep Purple

[QVC Dude]

That's one stink face I wouldn't mind getting though! ;)

[Cubsfan]

LOL Dude just be careful that she doesn't smother you.

Cubsfan

Nobody knows who's real and who's faking-
(No One Came) Deep Purple

[QVC Dude]

That's okay, I don't plan on doing much breathing down there anyway. But maybe I can find some "air pockets", if you know what I mean. ;)

[Cubsfan]

Last night Connie Craig and Suzanne Runyan looked like a tag team with matching outfits. The witch's hat and the sweater of shame decorated with pumpkins on it. :)

Cubsfan

Nobody knows who's real and who's faking-
(No One Came) Deep Purple

[QVC Dude]

I thought Suzanne was a great looking witch. :)

[Putbeds]

How about a tag match with Antonella Nestor and Patti Reilly vs Lynn Murphy and Colleen Lopez. In a kiddie pool filled with bubble bath. --- "What do you know about Jack Tatum?" -Samuel L. Jackson (SWAT)

[QVC Dude]

Great idea! I'd have to go with the big, beautiful combination of Antonella and Patti to win that one. Actually, I wouldn't care who wins, just as long as they all end up naked and rubbing suds on each other at the end! :)

[Cubsfan]

Here's a good dark match:

Jamie Gries (Storybook Knits) vs. Jeanne Bice (Quacker Factory)

Winner is the first one to put their company's "Sweater of Shame" on the loser. :)

Cubsfan

Nobody knows who's real or who's faking-
(No One Came) Deep Purple

[QVC Dude]

Ugh...that match should be so dark that even the people in the arena can't see it! Jeanne Bice has killed more wood than a lumberjack!

[Cubsfan]

Here's another dark match.

John Cremens vs. Bob Bowersox in a hardcore cookware match. Both men use pans, pots and any other cookware and beat each other up. Yes Wolfgang Pucks crap vs. Cooks Essentials. :)

Cubsfan

One thing goes wrong 100 things go right-Tony Hendra (This is Spinal Tap)

[QVC Dude]

Oh my God, I don't even want to THINK about the guys fighting each other! :(

[Cubsfan]

That's why it's a dark match. :)

Cubsfan

One thing goes wrong 100 things go right-Tony Hendra (This is Spinal Tap)

[Cubsfan]

After seeing the Raw commerical on USA I would love to see Lynn Murphy vs. Jacque Gonzales in a bra and panties pillow fight. On a bed like the one on the commercial. :)

Cubsfan

Buzz beer kicked my ass-Triple H (Drew Carey)

[Putbeds]

How about Sally Combs vs Susan Graver in a swimming pool match similar to Neve Campbell and Denise Richards had in "Wild Things"? --- "Hey, Adam and Evil" -Rodney Dangerfield (Back To School)

[Cubsfan]

I like Susan Graver but Sally Combs to me doesn't do anything for me. I bet Vicki would like Sally Combs. :)

Cubsfan

Buzz beer kicked my ass-Triple H (Drew Carey)

[Vicki L]

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Putbeds:
How about Sally Combs vs Susan Graver in a swimming pool match similar to Neve Campbell and Denise Richards had in "Wild Things"? --- "Hey, Adam and Evil" -Rodney Dangerfield (Back To School)
tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1353759
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Combs would be at home on camera swimming. She always lets her cute feet show!

[QVC Dude]

The president of HSN should buy QVC, then turn it into one big Home Shopping Wrestling Federation. We could see tons of interSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMal matches, like Lynn vs. Jacque in a lingerie pillow fight, or Lisa Mason vs. Colleen Lopez in a bra and panties match, or Antonella Nestor vs. Kathy Wolf in a "paddle on the pole" match! :)

[Putbeds]

Picturing Sally Combs swimming in a black bikini. Breast stroke, back stroke and then coming out of the pool totally wet from head to toe and looking very sexy as hell. --- "Hey Mister, Can You Spell Shit?" -D.B. Sweeney (8 Men Out)

[Putbeds]

Picturing Susan Graver doing water aeorbics in the pool; lots of stretching and bouncing up and down getting nice and wet. --- "Our motto shall be: MORONIKA 4 MORONS" -Moe Howard (3 Stooges)

[Putbeds]

Go to the Fantasies thread for my Sally Combs/Susan Graver fantasy. It kick ass. --- "Our motto shall be: MORONIKA 4 MORONS" -Moe Howard (3 Stooges)

[QVC Dude]

It does kick ass, Putbeds! I can't wait for part 2! :)

[Cubsfan]

I would love to see Suzanne Creamer against Connie Smith. The two of them rolling around groping and holding one another. That would be good TV. :)

Cubsfan

Let's roll with the new-Chris Rock (Jay and Silent Bob)

[Putbeds]

Part 2 is now complete for your reading and viewing pleasure. --- "Our motto shall be: MORONIKA FOR MORONS" -Moe Howard (3 Stooges)

[QVC Dude]

I just read it! Excellent stuff! I can't wait for the conclusion! :)

[Vicki L]

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QVC Dude:
The president of HSN should buy QVC, then turn it into one big Home Shopping Wrestling Federation. We could see tons of interSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMal matches, like Lynn vs. Jacque in a lingerie pillow fight, or Lisa Mason vs. Colleen Lopez in a bra and panties match, or Antonella Nestor vs. Kathy Wolf in a "paddle on the pole" match! :)
tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1353838
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QVC Dude------------LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!
Antonella is supposed to go up against cute Shivan!!!! They are both Italian or at least Mediteranean types. We've already established that they are to be adversaries to each other!!!!!!!!!!

[QVC Dude]

Okay, Okay! I just thought Antonella and Kathy should fight each other because they both have big asses, and that would be perfect for a "paddle on the pole" match where they have to spank each other. But I guess Patti Reilly could fight Kathy instead, since she also has a very ample backside. :)

[Cubsfan]

ShopNBC could be the ECW of the H-SLOW. :)

Cubsfan

Let's roll with the new-Chris Rock (Jay and Silent Bob)

[QVC Dude]

Then what would be the TNA? :)

[Cubsfan]

Maybe Shop at Home. :)

Cubsfan

Let's roll with the new-Chris Rock (Jay and Silent Bob)

[QVC Dude]

What's that one home shopping thing that just sells jewelry and only has infomercials late at night? That could be like a really small, independent federation.

[Putbeds]

The conclusion of my latest fantasy is now available, my friends. Antonella was on with Susan Graver this morning. How about Antonella and Susan Graver vs Suzanne Runyon and Joy Mangano in a Texas Tornado Tag Match. --- "Hey, Adam and Evil" -Rodney Dangerfield (Back To School)

[QVC Dude]

I read your conclusion. It was great! However, I would have ended it with a trio of cumshots for all three ladies. :)

[Putbeds]

No matter how you slice it; an ending is an ending. ---- "I'll take a quarterback. In fact; I'll take Notre Dame and 2 points" -Curly Howard (3 Stooges)

[QVC Dude]

You have a point! It was a great ending though. Seriously, I loved it! :)

[Cubsfan]

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QVC Dude:
What's that one home shopping thing that just sells jewelry and only has infomercials late at night? That could be like a really small, independent federation.
tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1356208
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Are you talking about jewelry television? The hardly show the hosts on that I hate that. At least ShopNBC has been a bit better showing the hosts lately.

Cubsfan

Let's roll with the new-Chris Rock (Jay and Silent Bob)

[QVC Dude]

Yeah, Jewelry Television, that's it. They could be a crappy little indy fed that the big networks make fun of all the time. :)

[Cubsfan]

I think I have only seen two hosts on that network. :(

Cubsfan

Let's roll with the new-Chris Rock (Jay and Silent Bob)

[QVC Dude]

Yeah, there's a man and a woman, right? I'm not even sure what either of them look like, since I can usually only hear their voices because they're always showing the jewelry.

[Cubsfan]

I've seen a woman on there but they do focus only on the merchandise.

Cubsfan

That's not funny-Stewie (Family Guy)

[Cubsfan]

They can have their hardcore matches today on QVC it's the 24 hour cooking show today.

Cubsfan

That's not funny-Stewie (Family Guy)

[QVC Dude]

LOL! Frying pans will be the weapon of choice today. Hopefully someone will knock out Bob Boringsox. Maybe there will even be a food fight or two. :)

[Putbeds]

At 9 pm Eastern; There is a cook-off between 2 of the hosts: JRT vs Rick. I think. Reminds me of the episode of the Odd Couple when Felix was in a cook-off and his arms went numb and Oscar had to help him. --- "Hey Mister! Can You Spell Shit?" -D.B. Sweeney (8 Men Out)

[QVC Dude]

LOL, I remember that episode. The Odd Couple was great. I liked when Felix would honk because of his allergies. :)

[kidnash]

I read Cubfans "invasion" story for the first time and enjoyed it. Interesting choices having Callie & Shannon in there since their status at HSN is about the same as Hall & Nash's were in the WWF when they began the nWo angle. And of course, Kathy in the role of Hulk Hogan. Brilliant!

[QVC Dude]

LOL, that's our Cubby! :)

[Cubsfan]

Thanks Kidnash.

Actually Kathy was more like Vince Russo. When he first came to WCW he was the shadowy figure behind the desk no one saw his face.

Cubsfan

What!?-Stone Cold Steve Austin

[QVC Dude]

Hey, Cubsfan, great quote! I think it's your shortest one yet. :)

[Cubsfan]

You have to thank Stone Cold for that Dude. :)

Cubsfan

What!?-Stone Cold Steve Austin

[QVC Dude]

Yeah, I have to admit I got sick of the whole "WHAT?!?" thing after a while, but it was nice to have it back a little bit when Stone Cold returned a few weeks ago. :)

[Cubsfan]

I was thinking about Sara Blakely and Karen Greene the two hosiery vendors on QVC. A street fight where anything goes. I can see the two of them using either of the hosiery to various uses. :)

Cubsfan

What!?-Stone Cold Steve Austin

[Putbeds]

Hoisery catfight....I like, I like. Also, when WHAT? was getting started up; Austin would also say "LEADERSHIP BY EXAMPLE" to the Alliance. ----- "I am Cornholio. I need teepee for my bunghole" -Beavis

[QVC Dude]

I got sick of Austin's whole "dictator" type role with the Alliance. I also got sick of him doing weird stuff like hugging Vince with a weird look on his face and singing "Cumbaya" while playing the guitar.

[kidnash]

I mentioned it on a couple of other treads, but I would love to book a feud between Judy Crowell and Lynn Murphy. Backstory: Lynn and Judy's husband Paul Deasy were rumored to have an affair during Paul's first run at HSN. Deasy joins QVC and meets Judy, where they fall in love and get married. Judy, not wanting the same publicity she received during her failed first marriage, mentions little about it and goes as far to not to wear her wedding rings on the air, which Paul begrudgedly accepts his wife's feelings. Paul then returns to HSN, meeting up with former flame Lynn. Judy's contract with QVC expires and joins her husband in Florida. Paul and Lynn occassionally co-host "Sunrise", possibily seeing a spark or two ignite, while Judy, looks and ability in delcine, doesn't make the impact on HSN like she hoped. And Crowell suspects long time HSN mainstay Murphy is using her "stoke" to hold Judy down.

How would you book it? And who would win?

[kidnash]

QVC...

As weird and sometimes silly Austin was during his heel run in 2001, you gotta admit some of it was quite effective. Aside from the "What?" gimmick, which got annoying but yet continues to be over to this day, I remember a couple segments where he verbally abused Torri Wilson to the point where she was cowering in the corner in tears. And when Austin thought it fun to whoop on Michael Cole (which should have turned him face considering the personality involved there).

With all the injuries they had at the time and the Rock making movies, in hindsight, turning the #1 drawing face of all time heel was not a good business decision. Well, that and the XFL, which is another discussion for another time.

[QVC Dude]

For the Crowell-Murphy feud, they could have a match where the winner gets Paul Deasy, and the loser has to leave HSN. Judy Crowell would win the match and Paul Deasy. Lynn Murphy would leave in shame, but then join QVC, which is where I've always wanted her to go, since she's so hot and would fit in nicely on the Q. She could feud with some of the ladies there, since they would still consider her "the enemy". As for Murphy using her "stroke" to keep Crowell down, I think she's also using her "stroke" on Paul Deasy, if you know what I mean. ;)

I remember when Austin beat the crap out of the "Todd Pettengill Wannabe" Michael Cole. I'll bet most of the crowd was cheering, but since it was taped, they probably dubbed in some boos. Seriously, I can't stand Michael Cole. I wish somebody would beat the crap out of him now. I hate how he's so obviously biased towards the faces all the time. If a heel cheats, he goes on and on about how reprehensible it is, but if a face does the exact same thing, he praises them, calling them "smart", or saying that the heel is "getting a taste of his own medicine". And I also hate how he ALWAYS raises his voice when they're about to go to commercial. You can tell when they're going to a break, because all of a sudden Cole will be like "WHO WILL WIN THIS MATCH?" or "CAN THEY SURVIVE?" Somebody PLEASE shut him up!

[Putbeds]

Go to the wrestling thread for my opinion on Micheal Cole. --- "I am Cornholio. I need teepee for my bunghole" -Beavis

[QVC Dude]

Will do. By the way, I love your new quote. :)

[kidnash]

Lynn Murphy on QVC: A HSLW booker's dream.

I could see Murphy as a dominent face. Patti Reilly would be robbed out to Murphy right off the bat. Next, Murphy would go over aging Pat James DeMentri to take over the Morning Show. Then Murphy would take out long time heels Jill Bauer & Jane Treacy (yes, she's not using Rudolph anymore) and host the bulk of the Sterling Silver & any Irish specials.

Fantasy aside, if Murphy ever made the jump to QVC, she would be in their Top 3 as far as looks, personality and ability goes. I would put vastly over-rated Lisa Robertson and long time fav Mary Beth Roe ahead of her.

A final note...I remember Judy Crowell's first days on HSN. They had her co-hosting with Connie Craig. Here's Crowell, for years one of the Q's better hostesses, being paired with a third tier hostess like Craig like she's a rookie learning the trade. Don't know if I'm the only one who found humor in that.

[QVC Dude]

I agree about Lynn Murphy on QVC. She would probably be my third favorite, after Lisa Mason and Jacque Gonzales. :)

[Putbeds]

How about a 8-woman anything goes between HSN & QVC. The Q side would have Lisa Mason, Lisa R., Jacque, & Patti Reilly vs the HSN: Suzanne Runyan, Lynn Murphy, Bobbi Ray Carter & Colleen Lopez. All of them wearing French Maids Outfits & kissing between opponents is surely ALLOWED. Btw, Todd Pettengil is the co-host of the WPLJ-FM (95.5) Morning Show in NYC along with Scott Shannon. Btw2, I was watching Beavis & Butthead on MTV2 yesterday; I love that show. I still remember when B & B would call Daria: "Diarreha". ---- "I am Cornholio. I need teepee for my bunghole" -Beavis

[Cubsfan]

Diarreha Cha-cha-cha. :)

Cubsfan

What!?-Stone Cold Steve Austin

[Putbeds]

B & B chanted that when they imitated the "American Gladiators" but wound up at a mud wrestling match. Here's how the 8-woman HSN vs QVC French Maid Catfight would go. Cubsfan is the ref. Patti and Lynn get into a lockup by the turnbuckle and I tell Patti to break it and she gives Lynn a vicious Ric Flair chop (WHOOOO) and yells to Colleen, Suzanne and Joy Mangano (who is a last-minute replacement after Bobbi Ray is double teamed in the parking lot by both Lisa's). "You want a piece of me you Tampa Trollops" and Joy drop kicks Patti over the top rope and then Jacques rushes in and gores Joy and with me and QVCDude annoucing "I'm yelling Gore, Gore, Gore". Then Jacques picks up Joy and kisses her on the lips. And Dude is speaking Lawler like "Look at that Hot Lesbian Action, Putbeds" and me (J.R. Like) "The QVC-HSN Catfight is like Duke and North Carolina in College Basketball". Dude goes "Nobody cares about Duke and North Carolina but you; Jacques kissed Joy. Joy to the World". The fight continues and Joy recovers by headbutting Jacques to the Q corner and she tags in Lisa Mason, who promptly puts Joy in the Angle Submission and then Suzanne steps in and clothslines Lisa M. to save Joy and it's now Suzanne and Lisa R. and after Suzanne puts Lisa R. into a couple of German suplexes; Suzanne puts Lisa R. into the Walls of Jericho and is ready to submit when Lisa R. fights and touches the ropes and Cubsfan tells Suzanne to break the hold. Then Suzanne turns to the Q girls and yells "West Chester Sucks; I'm glad I'm Outta There" and she's unaware that Patti is behind her and clamps the Cobra Clutch on Suzanne. "My God; My God; It's Sgt. Slaughter's Famous Patened Cobra Clutch" I scream and as Patti gets ready to win; Colleen comes in and hits Patti in the back of the head with the ring bell and it becomes a donny brook. All 8 women start brawling: Colleen vs Patti; Joy vs Jacques; Lisa R. vs Suzanne and Lisa M. vs Lynn as ref Cubsfan does the traditional ref bump. "They knocked out Cubsfan the ref" I scream. "Catfight, Catfight" Dude is yelling. The brawling continues when all of a sudden we hear the Sportscenter theme song and Erin Andrews, Michelle Bonner, Linda Cohn and Rachel Nichols arrive on the scene. "It's the women of ESPN" I start yelling and Erin says "Let's show these shopping bimbos how to fight" and they run down the aisle and Erin comes in and bodyslams Joy and does the Hogan leg drop on her. Michelle takes out both Lisa's and grabs Colleen and starts making out with her when Colleen puts her in a small package. It's fuckin crazy and then we hear the strains of "Ironman" by Black Sabbath and guess who comes out: Bonnie Drake; The Tag MILF!!!! "It's her, It's Bonnie Drake and she has signed with HSN and has on a HSN t-shirt, Putbeds". "I see it but I don't believe it." I shrug. Bonnie comes in and all the women stop fighting and both her and Lynn Murphy hug and celebrate when suddenly Bonnie grabs a frying pan and wallops Lynn. "Good God! Good God! Bonnie has turned on HSN" I scream and Bonnie takes off her HSN shirt and Patti gives her a QVC shirt as the Q girls celebrate in the ring and Lynn is carried out on a stretcher and Suzanne yells "Bonnie; You're a Dead Woman; You Just Don't Know It". Then the ESPN women leave and it's Bonnie and Q girls hug each other. End of match.---- "I am a wrestling god" -JBL

[Cubsfan]

LOL

Very good Putbeds. :)

Cubsfan

What!?-Stone Cold Steve Austin

[QVC Dude]

LOL, that was hilarious! Thanks for making me an announcer! :)

By the way, I loved Todd Pettengill, especially when they would call him "Potsie"!

And speaking of "Gore, Gore, Gore", did you hear on Raw last week when Edge hit the spear, and The Coach started yelling "Gore, Gore, Gore", but then The King corrected him by telling him it was a spear, so Coach started going "Spear, Spear, Spear!" LOL, I don't know if that was intentional or not, but it cracked me up! It seems like The King has been doing a little more serious commentating to make up for Coach's lack of play-by-play skills.

Cubsfan, I was going to chant "Diarrhea, Cha-cha-cha", but you beat me to it! LOL! :)

[Putbeds]

Cubsfan & QVCDude; Thank you for your support. Cubsfan, I just had to say Duke and North Carolina instead of Oklahoma and Texas because in college hoops I'm a Duke fan especially the days of Bobby Hurley/Christian Laettner/Grant Hill. --- "I am Cornholio. I need teepee for my bunghole" -Beavis

[Putbeds]

In the aftermath of Bonnie Drake turning on HSN; I get to do a sitdown interview with her at a Phoenix hotel. I ask Bonnie about hitting Lynn with the frying pan and she says: "You know, Putbeds, Lynn Murphy is a backstabbing bitch; she promised me that TAG Body Spray would be sold on HSN but she backed out...." All of a sudden, my cell phone rings: "Hello, What? Members of the 1986 Mets are at a nearby sports bar and I'm gonna meet them. Okay, Bye". I suddenly end the interview and tell Bonnie "Sorry about this, Bonnie, I gotta go Meet the Mets". With the camera still rolling; Bonnie is relaxing by the pool when all of a sudden Suzanne, Joy Mangano & Lynn come up from behind and grab Bonnie and throw her into the pool. "Thanks for hitting me last week, you slut" Lynn yells. Then Suzanne jumps into the pool, grabs Bonnie by the neck and is holding her face down in the water and.... Stay tuned for Part 2. ---- "I am a wrestling god" -JBL

[forensicat]

Dudes, you left out a light heavyweight who could blow colleen lopez outta the ring. What about Mannish Shannon Smith? She's more butch than John Creamans and Bill Green and Paul Deasey combined. I keep expecting her to come in with Ann Heche wrapped around her waist like a monkey.

JMHO>

[Cubsfan]

She dresses manish with the pantsuits but she has long feminine hair.

Cubsfan

Ain't I a stinker-Bugs Bunny

[Putbeds]

Part 2: Suzanne is holding Bonnie Drake face down underwater as Lynn & Joy cheer her on. Then Joy jumps in and takes over for Suzanne and yells at Bonnie, who by now is gasping for air and couging up lots of water. "You traitor, you Benedict Arnold, you Judas Priest" Suzanne yells and then Lynn jumps in, grabs an already hurt Bonnie and power bombs Bonnie into the deep end and suddenly, police sirens are sounding. "Oh Shit, The Fuzz" Joy yells and all 3 HSN women get out of the pool and exit stage left. I come back with the police and rescue unit. "Those HSN vixens set me up like a mother; I didn't see Jesse Orosco or Mookie Wilson at all". As the rescue units tend to Bonnie; I go back on air and tell the H-SLOW fans what happened. "Bonnie Drake, the TAG MILF, has been viciously beaten by Joy, Lynn and Suzanne of HSN and you know that the Q women will respond in kind". --- "I am a wrestling god" -JBL

[QVC Dude]

LOL, this is great stuff! :)

[Putbeds]

"Here we are in St. Louis and another week of H-SLOW action. I'm Putbeds Ross and right here is QVCDude Lawler". Then Dude says "After what happened last week in Phoenix; here's an update on Bonnie Drake: She was released from the hospital yesterday and she's resting comfortably at home". The music cues: "Bad Girls" is playing and Lynn, Joy, Suzanne and Colleen enter the ring and they create instant heat by wearing Houston Astros uniforms. Now Joy grabs the mic and yells "YOU KNOW WHAT BONNIE DRAKE AND YOUR LOSER CARDINALS HAVE IN COMMON? THEY'RE DEAD,DEAD,DEAD!!!!". Booooooo!!!! Lynn is next "QVC, COME OUT AND PLAY!!!!". Then we hear the Fox News music bumper. "What the Deuce?" I yell out and Dude is in hyper alert going "It's the Fox News Ladies: Laurie Dhue, Paige Hopkins, Jamie Colby & Juliet Huddy and their lungs are perking; Look at their lungs, Putbeds!". I reply "Good Ol' PB is a married man but I'll say Just Because You're On A Diet; It Doesn't Mean That You Can't Look At the Menu". The Fox News girls enter the ring and Jamie says "We Issue A Challenge to you HSN witches, TONIGHT!!!". Then Colleen gets into Jamie's face and says "What are you doing here, Jamie? I'll flex-pay your ass back to last week". Jamie then slaps Colleen and then Colleen slaps Jamie right back and a donnybrook ensues and the refs come in and try to restore order but HSN & FNC keep brawling. It all ends when Paige rips Lynn's tank top off and Dude goes "Oh My God! Lynn is TOPLESS!!! Her lungs are free as a bird; I LOVE IT". I shake my head and add "It's like having Steve Stifler from American Pie as a color man". They cover up Lynn and HSN leave the ring as the fans give a big pop to the FOX News Ladies". ---- "I am a wrestling god" - JBL

[QVC Dude]

LOLOLOL!!! This is some good shit! Keep it up! :)

[Putbeds]

The GM of H-SLOW kidnash is conferring with both HSN and FNC. "Tonight, they'll be a tag-team match; HSN will pick 2 women and FNC will pick 2 women and the ones who don't get picked will be BANNED from Ringside". Lynn tells the GM that "It'll be me and Suzanne" and Laurie goes "Since I'm the Captain; It'll be me and Jamie Colby". "All Right Then; It's Set for Later Tonight.." Colleen interrupts the GM and whispers in his ear. "Colleen has a great idea; she wants to take on Paige Hopkins in one on one competition; I agree, Playa and also Joy Mangano will take on Juliet Huddy in one on one competition." The crowd erupts "Did you hear that PB? 3 great matches set up by GM kidnash" Dude says. "OK, Coming UP next; It'll be Joy vs Juliet; So pop open a Pepsi and get the popcorn; We're gonna have a slobberknocker". --- "Smell Ya Later" -Nelson Muntz (Simpsons)

[QVC Dude]

LOL, I can't wait! :)

[kidnash]

All right! GM! TY Putbeds! I always wanted to manage these ladies one way or another. I inpatiently stand-by...

Heaven sent you here to this place, Dirk Diggler - Jack Horner (Boogie Nights)

[Putbeds]

Here are the match results: Joy over Juliet by countout and Paige pins Colleen by holding the ropes. Now to the main event: Lynn/Suzanne vs Laurie/Jamie. The HSN girls enter 1st to catcalls. One fan holds up a sign saying: LYNN FEARS SHERYL SWOOPES. Now the Fox News girls come out and full of piss and vinegar when Jamie attacks Suzanne and Laurie attacks Lynn. The 2 refs Nick Patrick & Cubsfan (GM kidnash orders 2 refs for this one) tell the ladies to stop the shit and they start the match. It's Jamie & Lynn and they start slapping each other; then Jamie clotheslines Lynn and Suzanne distracts the ref Cubsfan: "Hey Ref; Isn't That Ron Santo?" Ref Cubsfan goes "Where? Where?". Suzanne slips Lynn a chair but instead of hitting Jamie with it; she opens it, sits on it and starts spanking Jamie very hard. "Look at that, Lynn is giving Jamie a nice spanking; Come over here, Lynn and spank me honey". I tell Dude King to "Chill to the next episode". Laurie enters the ring and headbutts Lynn and then gets Lynn into a small package but Laurie kicks out. Lynn tags Suzanne and Suzanne starts working on Laurie's leg, kicking and stomping on her left leg and then Suzanne sets up the figure-four on Laurie and applies it. Laurie is fighting with every ounce and then Jamie comes in and kicks Lynn in the head and all hell breaks loose as all 4 ladies start fighting. Then Joy & Colleen come out and its a 4 on 2; after which Paige & Juliet come out and its a donnybrook. "It's like a Saturday Night Bar Fight in Hoboken". Then we hear the music of QVC and Patti, Lisa Mason, Lisa R. & Jacques come out to join in the fray; Patti waves her arms and signals someone to come to the ring. "I cannot believe it! Susan Graver & Sally Combs are coming into this 1-ring circus". Dude King "More Lungs, More Lungs". Susan & Sally grab Joy and Sally bodyslams Joy and then Susan does the flying elbow and hits Joy. "She Nails It, By Golly" I go. Dude goes "QVC is doing some kickass revenge tonight". It's a 6-pier brawl as HSN, FNC & QVC go at it. Patti and Lisa R. stomp on Suzanne; Lisa Mason and Colleen go at it; Susan & Sally fight Joy; Lynn takes on the entire Fox News ladies and she's clawing & scratching. "It's like Pete Rose vs Buddy Harrelson in the 1973 playoffs" I go only to be interrupted by Dude who says "But Pete Rose didn't have great lungs like these ladies, PB & you never saw Buddy in jogging bras and spandex". The brawl continues and security arrives but: "We have to go off the air; Folks; The network has to go to its alternative programming". The show goes off the air and the next thing you see is...Carroll O' Connor & Jean Stapleton at the piano. Next up is what happens after the show goes of the air. ---- "Smell Ya Later" -Nelson Muntz (Simpsons)

[QVC Dude]

LOLOLOL!!! I wanna see Lisa Mason and Colleen Lopez in that catfight! :)

Cool, we led right into "All In The Family". :)

[Putbeds]

The fight ends after several minutes. GM Kidnash comes out and makes a big announcement: "At our next pay-per-view; The Big Brawl 4; It'll be Lisa Mason vs Colleen Lopez in a kiddie pool filled with Bubble Bath & they will be wearing black bikinis; Lynn & Suzanne vs Laurie & Jamie in a Bra & Panties Match; Patti Reilly, Susan Graver & Sally Combs will take on Joy Mangano, Juliet Huddy & Paige Hopkins in a six-woman Spanking Match; and Bobbi Ray Carter & Diana Perkovic will take on Lisa Robertson and her partner.....Bonnie Drake in a Texas Tornado Match. Good Night Everybody" --- "Smell Ya Later" -Nelson Muntz (Simpsons)

[Cubsfan]

LOL

Cubsfan

Ain't I a stinker-Bugs Bunny

[QVC Dude]

I would pay my life savings to see that PPV! :)

[Putbeds]

"Here we are LIVE from Las SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAM and the MGM Grand Arena for H-SLOW's Big Brawl 4 and I'm outside the Special Guest Referee's Locker Room and GM kidnash has just hired a special guest ref for the Colleen Lopez-Lisa Mason Bubble Bath Match and I'm Elvis Putbeds (bad Elvis imitation) Thank You Very Much". All of a sudden we hear moaning & groaning from the locker room and out emerges QVC Dude with nothing but a towel and a smile. "Dude, What the...." I say. Dude tells me "I just conducted an exclusive interview with the Special Guest Referee and let me tell ya she's Zestfully clean and ready to ref". Dude exits the camera and me with a befuddled look in my face says "QVC Dude has left the shower". ----- "Smell Ya Later" -Nelson Muntz (Simpsons)

[Putbeds]

Fireworks go off and the fans go wild. "Welcome to Las SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAM and a sold-out MGM Arena for H-SLOW's Big Brawl 4; I'm Elvis Putbeds and QVC Dude is in the ring as the workers set up the kiddie pool filled with bubble bath for our big grudge match between Colleen Lopez & Lisa Mason". Dude goes "Thank you Elvis and Love Me Tender as I introduce the guest referee that our esteemed GM kidnash got for us tonight; I got to know her very well early on; Ladies & Gentlemen: The guest ref is KRISTEN VEITCH OF E! NEWS. The crowd goes wild and I say "It's Kristen Veitch; And a popular choice as the fans are loving it". Kristen enters the ring and she's wearing a blue Smackdown ref like tank top and spandex shorts; she hugs & kisses QVC Dude and waves to the fans. The match is set to begin and Colleen Lopez enters first and gives a few obscence gestures to the fans who boo her and as she attempts to enter the ring; Lisa Mason runs and attacks her from behind and drags her into the ring. Veitch signals for the bell and the match is on. After a few minutes of stalling where Lopez gets in and out of the ring; Mason flings her into the kiddie pool and Lopez gets nice and wet; Mason tries to pin her but Lopez kicks out and starts slapping Mason and they trade each other slap for slap as Veitch tries to break it up but Lopez slaps Veitch & Veitch gets mad. "You don't slap Kristen in the face; that's a no-no" Dude goes and I say "She's madder than Toby Keith at a ACLU gathering". Veitch then slaps Lopez and Mason attempts the pin but Lopez kicks out. After a flurry of moves and counter moves; Joy Mangano slips in some hangars to Lopez and Lopez knocks out Mason but Veitch rings the bell. Mason wins by DQ. After which, Veitch & Mangano get into an argument and Veitch bodyslams Mangano into the kiddie pool and then does the People's Elbow as Lopez walks away in disgust. "What a way to open our ppv, Dude". I say and Dude goes "Wet and wild and that was during my pre-match shower with the lovely Kristen Veitch" --- "Smell Ya Later" -Nelson Muntz (Simpsons)

[QVC Dude]

LOLOLOL!!! Thanks for putting me in the shower with Kristin! :)

[jack]

it's a three out of five fall match pitting colleen lopez and kathy wolf against patty reilly and lisa robertson. in the first fall all four women are in the ringand patty picks up colleen as if to slam her but takes her over to the corner and hangs her upside down with her ankles tied under the turnbuckle.as the ref comes over to break this up patty sees kathy working over lisa and gives her a knee dive in the back. then lisa places kathy on the bottom rope while patty climbs the top rope and knee drops kathy while lisa stretches her out by her legs. when the ref finally frees colleen he sees lisa covering kathy and counts the pin. first fall to qvc. thesecond fall is going out of control as all four are in the ring again. lisa rakes kathy in the eyes and pushes her up against the ropes where she ties her arms between the top and second rope. lisa the pulls a handkerchief out of her wrestling suit and stuffs it in kathy's mouth so she can't scream. as the referee comes over to untie kathy, lisa sees that colleen has patty in an abdominal stretch. lisa hits colleen in the neck with a double fist and she collapses with patty on top of her. the ref has untied kathy and goes over to count the fall. second fall to qvc. the third fall begins and hsn has to take the fall to stay alive. colleen and kathy both grab patty and give her a double backdrop followed by a double body slam then a double knee to the midsection followed by a double backbreaker. colleen makes the pin while kathy heads off lisa and throws her outof the ring. third fall to hsn. the fourth fall sees lisa grab an advantage over colleen by whipping her into the turnbuckles andflying into her splash style. on the third attempt kathy pulls colleen out of the way and lisa crashes into the corner and falls to the mat stunned. colleen tags kathy who picks her position and behind lisa and climbs to the second rope and as lisa manages to stand up kathy leaps and puts an elbow smash into the back of lisa's neck. kathy then covers lisa for the pin. fourth fall to hsn. the fifth fall is wild as all four women are going at it in the ring although kathy and colleen have an advantge due to the punishment that patty and lisa have absorbed. colleen has lisa in a corner and kathy has patty in the opposite corner both battering away at their opponents. as the ref is trying to separate kathy and patty, mary beth roe and leah williams run down to ringside. leah goes over and yells to the ref while mary beth goes to the opposite corner and removes one of her high heels and hits colleen over the head. colleen goes down and lisa covers her. the ref sees the pin attempt and goes over to count while leah grabs kathy's ankle to keep her from saving colleen. the fifth fall will go to qvc. as mary beth enters the ring to help patty and lisa out of the ring to be led out by leah, kathy and colleen recover and grab mary beth. mary beth roe is trapped and has her suit and slip torn off revealing that she is wearing a white bra, panties, garter belt and stockings. mary beth manages to roll from the ring and runs as fast as she can to the dressing room. qvc has won the match but mary bethroe has lost her dignity.

[QVC Dude]

LOL, that was great! Welcome aboard, jack! :)

[jack]

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QVC Dude:
LOL, that was great! Welcome aboard, jack! :)
tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1374025
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thank you. speak to you soon.

[QVC Dude]

You're welcome! I see you registered. Congrats! Talk to you soon. :)

[Cubsfan]

LOL

Very creative Jack especially the ending. ;)

Cubsfan

Hey Buddy-Adam Sandler

[jack]

who wants to see a rematch and do ypu have any suggestions?

[QVC Dude]

I do! How about making it a bra-and-panties match, or an evening gown match? :)

[Cubsfan]

For the Smackdown vs. Raw video game there is supposed to be a fantasy diva match included. Where the divas can wrestle as a french maid, nurse or school girl. How about one of those and where did Jack go anyway?

Cubsfan

Know it, I wrote it-Denis Leary

[QVC Dude]

I was wondering the same thing about jack.

[jack]

I'm working on a rematch story with a different ending.

[jack]

It's the rematch between hsn's colleen lopez and kathy wolf vs. qvc's patty reilly and lisa robertson in another three out of five fall match. the action begins and patty is up against colleen. Colleen batters patty with forearms and tags kathy who follows up with three tackles off the ropes. Kathy tags colleen who manages to body slam patty and makes another tag to Kathy. Kathy then climbs to the top rope and comes off with a double fist to patty's back and neck and proceeds to pin her as colleen heads off lisa. first fall to hsn. The second fall runs fast as colleen and kathy quick tag and keep pattyoff balance. colleen misses a flying tackle at patty and receives a forearm by lisa in her corner. lisa makes the tag and begins to batter colleen with kicks and forearms. she then tags patty who slams colleen twice and brings her to theor corner where lisa pulls colleen's head over the top rope. Kathy tries to come in but the ref heads her off and patty and lisa drape colleen's legs over the top rope and give her a double kick to the midsection.
when the ref turns around patty has colleen in a pin position and counts her out. second fall to qvc. The third fall sees colleen make a tag to kathy who goes after patty with kicks, forearms, tackles and slams. As kathy grabs patty in a headlock lisa makes a tag while patty sends kathy into the ropes, drops to the mat and lisa meets kathy with a high kick to the chest. Lisa then slams kathy and picks her up and uses a bow and arrow hold to make kathy submit. Third fall to qvc. Kathy and lisa begin the fourth fall and Lisa again manages to apply the bow and arrow hold. patty has come into the ring to head colleen off but is stopped by the ref. As patty and the ref argue, colleen climbs to the top rope and delivers an elbow to lisa's neck and as the ref turns around kathy is making the pin. Fourth fall to hsn. As the fifth fall progresses kathy and colleen whip lisa and patty together in the center of the ring. As lisa comes off the whip she slams into the ref who is knocked from the ring. kathy hurls lisa through the ropes as colleen whips patty into the ropes and locks on a sleeper hold. Kathy has gone to get the ref while lisa sees the situation and climbs the top rope and leaps off with an elbow to colleen' head, sending colleen to the mat and patty out of the ring. Kathy sees lisa pinning colleen and climbs to the top rope and leaps off and puts a foot into lisa's back. She rolls colleen on to lisa and the ref whohas managed to get back in the ring counts the fall. The winners:hsn. As the ref leaves the ring, patty comes back in and begins to attack colleen and kathy as lisa joins in. A fight begins in earnest and kathy and patty are fighting in one corner and colleen and lisa in an opposite corner. Suddenly, mary beth roe and leah williams are coming out from the dressing room. MBR has a large qvc bag with her as they head down to ringside. Leah rolls into the ring near kathy and stuns her with a double fist to the neck. Patty helps leah place her in the corner with her arms pulled over the top rope. As they hold her there MBR pulls out a pair of legacy pantyhose and ties kathy's wrists together and tie it to the ringpost. Leah then tells patty to help lisa with colleen while MBR pulls out another pair of legacy pantyhose,wraps it around the ringpost and ties each of kathy's ankles with a leg of the pantyhose. MBR then enters the ring with the bag and while leah holds kathy's head, she brings a pair of breezies panties out of the bag and stuffs them in kathy's mouth so she can't yell. Finished here they go to where patty and lisa have colleen face down on the mat and as patty and lisa hold her arms and leah grabs her legs, MBR brings a spray can out of her bag and begins spraying colleen's hair. Her hair is being spray=dyed GREY. When this is finished they stand colleen up and MBR brings out of the bag what can best be described as 'granny panties' and the four of them force them onto colleen. They're not finished yet as MBR has something else in the bag; a dress which can only be described as matronly. They put the dress on a struggling colleen and then parade her around the ring as MBR takes the microphone and says "Now here is the real colleen lopez. Do you think she looks sexy now? I don't think yahoo will say she's the sexiest home shopping channel hostessfrom here on." Patty and lisa then batter colleen out of the ring and MBR proceeds over to kathy and says "And here is the only way pantyhose and panties will look good on her." MBR and company leave the ring while colleen tries to enter the ring and free kathy. MBR's revenge has been humiliating for colleen and kathy.

[QVC Dude]

LOL! That was great! They turned Colleen into an old lady! Keep it up, jack! :)

[Cubsfan]

Too bad there is no Q2 anymore it could be their Ohio Valley. :)

Cubsfan

Mmmm... Club Sandwich-Homer Simpson

[QVC Dude]

LOL, yeah, the training place! Good idea! :)

[Cubsfan]

Just like HSN has America's Store as their "minor" league. :)

Cubsfan

Mmmm... Club Sandwich-Homer Simpson

[Cubsfan]

I think it would be very funny if someone on HSN/AS gave Esteban the El Kabong over his head. :)

Cubsfan

Your despicable-Daffy Duck

[Cubsfan]

Also give the El Kabong to Daniel Kiviat although he's so boring no one would notice. :)

Cubsfan

Your despicable-Daffy Duck

[jack]

Any suggestions as to what match between qvc and hsn anybody would like to read next?

[Cubsfan]

I think it should be what do you want to see Jack. :)

Cubsfan

Thank you very little-Ty Webb (Caddyshack)

[Cubsfan]

Now this would be a perfect opportunity for the Christmas down time to show the hosts wrestling. Now that's Christmas. :)

Cubsfan

My biscuits are burning-Yosemite Sam

[McQvc]

Jacque Gonzales vs. Colleen Lopez (Battle of the Boobs??)
Sheila Johnson vs. Bobbi Ray Carter (Silicone Valley Brawl!)
Sharon Faetech vs Lynn Murphy (Battle of the Cutey-girls)

[QVC Dude]

I'd like to see that battle of the boobs! :)

[jack]

Let's begin with a preliminary match featuring sheila johnson and bobbie ray carter. Bobbie enters the ring first wearing a red wrestling outfit and white boots, Now sheila enters wearing a blue outfit and black boots. The referee gives the instructions, sends them to their corners and calls for the bell. The match will be quite a unique one with the bodybuilder sheila against the former dancer bobbie. As they lock up Sheila sends Bobbie up against the ropes with a show of strength. Bobbie realizes that she will not be able to match strenth with this woman and will have to try a different tack. As she comes at her again she drops down and brings her right leg into a whip motion at sheila's legs. As she connects Sheila has her legs pulled from under her and lands on her rear end. Sheila bounces up and Bobbie repeats her maneuver and sends her to the mat again. Once again she comes up and Bobbie brings her to the mat again. Bobbie moves in and applies a stepover toehold. Sheila is on the mat and can't use her upper body strength. Bobbie holds her there for several minutes until Sheila manages to reach the ropes and the referee calls for a break. When Sheila manages to get to her feet, she keeps close to the ropes so that Bobbie can't repeat her maneuver. As Bobbie makes a lunge for Sheila's leg, she is met with a bolo forearm. Now Sheila begins her attack and pummels Bobbie with a series of forearm blows. She pulls Bobbie from the mat and begins a series of body slams. Sheila then picks her up in a slam lift but brings her to a corner and slams her back against the turnbuckle and her left leg goes under the corner hook and Sheila has her hanging upside down in the corner. Sheila begins a series of kicks to Bobbie's torso as the referee attempts to break up the action. When the ref finally gets Bobbie free from the corner, Sheila moves in and lifts her in a crotch and nelson hold and then runs forward and drives Bobbie's right shoulder into her right knee. Bobbie goes down tothe mat and Sheila scores the pinfall. The winner is Sheila Johnson. Stay with us for the next two matches.

[Cubsfan]

I'm surprised Bobbi didn't break a hip during the match. :)

Cubsfan

I toil not on thee Sabbath-Homer Simpson

[QVC Dude]

LOL Cubsfan! I think Sheila Johnson could legitimately kick the ass of any other host, since she's really into fitness and is really muscular and athletic. :)

[Cubsfan]

It would depend if she was athletically coordinated. She may be able to run and do pilates but in a competition like wrestling might be a different story.

Cubsfan

I toil not on thee Sabbath-Homer Simpson

[jack]

Another preliminary match featuring Lynn Murphy vs. Sharon Faetsch. This is the cutesy match in which both contestants have agree to wrestle in french maid outfits complete with crinoline and ruffled panties. As the match begins Lynn tries a few slaps at Sharon which serves to bring about a some ire from Sharon. Sharon hooks up with Lynn and brings her to the mat with a single leg takedown. As Lynn goes down we get a good look at her legs and panties. Sharon continues to keep Lynn on the mat and gets her close to a pin position several times. Lynn manages to pull Sharon by the neck and sends her flying to break the hold. Sharon is up but is met by a kick to the midsection and Lynn grabs her in a headlock and throws her to the mat. As Sharon struggles with Lynn we manage to see some sensuous sightings of her legs and panties. Sharon manages to bring them both to their feet and whips Lynn into the ropes and then is met with a flying tackle by Lynn. Lynn repeats the maneuver again and again but on the third attempt Sharon gets behind her and pushes her into the ropes for a reverse rolling cradle. As the ref begins his count Lynn manages to roll out and reverse the hold but grabs Sharon's panty and pantyhose for leverage. As the ref makes the count, Lynn's pulling has exposed Sharon's butt. The count is made and Lynn hsa won, but Sharon gets to give the guys in the audience a thrill at seeing her shapely buttocks.

[QVC Dude]

Good point, Cubsfan. :)

Good stuff again, jack! :)

[Cubsfan]

Lynn and Sharon would be good to see. :)

Cubsfan

I toil not on thee Sabbath-Homer Simpson

[jack]

Now for the main event between the hottest divas of the shopping channels. From QVC wearing amber outfit and black boots is Jacque Gonzales. From HSN wearing black outfit and whire boots is Colleen Lopez. And now for a surprise referee; formerly a QVC host who was dismissed is the delectable Marianne Manko. MM runs down to the ring wearing a Hooters girl outfit and tells both contestants "It's time to ring the bell and hook 'em up." The first fall of this three fall event begins and CL and JG begin their approach at the center of the ring. CL begins with an arm drag, follows up with a dropkick, a body slam, an elbow drop to the chest, brings Jacque to her feet for another slam and then leaps into the air and brings both feet into JG"s midsection. She then lifts her up and applies an abdominal stretch. MM gets in front and hears JG submit and calls for the bell. First fall to Colleen Lopez. The second fall begins and CL rushes JG and whips her into a corner. Then another whip and a third and as CL rushes in JG meets her with a knee to the chest. CL falls to the mat and JG begins her assault. She begins with a body slam, followed by another and still another. Then a series of forearms to CL's chest which brings a warning from the ref. JG steps back and as CL begins to get up locks her left arm around CL's head and applies a vertical suplex which sends Colleen flat on the mat. The cover is made and MM begins a count. CL is pinned and JG is awarded the fall. Second fall to Jacque Gonzales. The third fall begins and MM signals the participants to come from their corners. JG and CL both start out with punches and kicks which draqs a warning from MM. CL then backs up and brings a dropkick into JG's chest. JG falls to the mat and CL starts a series of arm bars and wristlocks to keep her on the mat. When JG manages to regain her feet she breaks free and starts a series of tackles against CL. JG has regained the advantage and is looking good in her mat strategy. Suddenly, Mary Beth Roe is coming to the ring. As she's yelling to JG, MM warns MBR to keep out of the action. JG then begins a whip which will send CL towards MBR who has climbed on to the ring apron and has a purse in her hands to hit CL. Colleen reverses the whip and sends Jacque to the ropes where MBR hits her instead. CL runs over and nails MBR with a forearm knocking her to the apron. CL makes the pin and MM counts JG out. Third fall and the match is awarded to Colleen Lopez. Colleen runs over to MBR and begins an assault upon her. Marianne goes to a corner and watches as CL tears away at MBR. Now we see Sheila Johnson and Sharon Faetsch running to the ring. As they enter MM begins fighting with them. JG has regained her feet and now CL has both her and MBR and is fighting away with fury. Sheila manages to execute a hook kick to MM's head as she is pummeling SF. SJ and SF bring Marianne to her feet and SJ lifts her off her feet in a slam position and brings her to a corner where SF helps her to put Marianne's ankles under the corner hook and hang her upside down. SF then pulls out a pair of pantyhose and she and Sheila begin wrapping them tightly around MM's ankles and the corner hook. When they finish MM is tied and cannot escape. SJ then sees an opportunity and delivers a side kick to CL who collapses to the mat. Now it's a four on one situation as they punch, kick and slam Colleen. HSN's dressing room door opens and help is coming in the company of Lynn Murphy, Bobbie Ray Carter, Judy Crowell, and Suzanne Runyan. They slam the ring and begin the rescue of Colleen. Now QVC realizes the odds are against them after a few minutes and bail out of the ring. Colleen and the others help MM from the corner and leave the ring to celebrate a main event victory.

[QVC Dude]

LOL, very creative, jack! :)

[Cubsfan]

Very nice Jack. :)

Cubsfan

I like women with full shoulder blades-Steve Dallas (Bloom County)

[jack]

Welcome to a new type of match. This will be strip SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAM match in which the contestants will remove an item of clothing for each fall which they lose. They are allowed to wear a t-shirt, sweatshirt, stirrup pants, boots and socks. The pants will be the last item to be removed with the boots and socks at the same time. Our contestants for this match will be HSN's Colleen Lopez and QVC's Lisa Robertson. The ladies have arrived in the ring. Lisa is wearing a QVC sweatshirt and maroon pants with white boots. Colleen is wearing an HSN sweatshirt and black pants with black boots. The ref calls for the bell and the match begins. Colleen and lisa begin exchanging arm drags, snap mares and leg takedowns. Colleen picks Lisa up for a slam and follows up with a dropkick which sends Lisa into a corner. Colleen whips her into the opposite corner and as Lisa comes out of it she catches Her in a side backbreaker. Colleen then pins her for the first fall. Lisa now has to remove her sweatshirt revealing a maroon t-shirt. The second fall begins and Colleen rushes in too quickly and is met by a kick to the stomach from Lisa. She then begins to use punches, forearms and kicks to wear Colleen down. Lisa picks up CL for a slam to the mat. As CL is lying there, LR steps between her legs and applies the Indian Deathlock. CL has no choice but to submit. Second fall to Lisa. Colleen has to remove her sweatshirt revealing a black T-shirt. Third fall is progressing and CL has regained an advantage and begins whipping Lisa into the turnbuckles. As Lisa is being whipped into another corner, she holds on and reverses the whip and Colleen goes into the corner. Lisa then clotheslines her and applies a headlock and brings Colleen to the mat with a bulldog headlock. LIsa then makes another pin to win the third fall. Colleen has to remove her t-shirt revealin that she is wearing a black low-cut bra. Colleen is one fall away to being her lingerie. The fourth fall begins and Lisa comes out with a fury. Colleen is having troubles as she is being punched and kicked. Lisa has Colleen staggered up against the ropes and comes at her with a flying forearm. Colleen ducks and Lisa goes over the top rope to the concrete floor. As she attempts to enter the ring and is crawling on her hands and knees, Colleen runs toward her and ties her up with an Oklahoma Roll for the pin. Fourth fall to Colleen. Lisa now has to remove her t-shirt exposing her low-cut lavender bra to the audience. This fall will decide the winner. Lisa and Colleen are goind at it hot and heavy with punches, forearms, and kicks. LIsa manages to whip Colleen into the ropes and catches her with a knee to the midsection. Colleen goes down and Lisa tries for a pin but Colleen kicks out at the count of two. LIsa then tries blows to Colleen's midsection and has her doubled over. Lisa is trying for a knee lift to CL's head but Colleen moves and Lisa flies off her feet and lands hard on the mat. As she tries to get up, CL lands a flying knee to LR's chest driving her to the mat. Colleen dives on her for the three count and wins the match. Lisa is told by the ref to remove her last articles of clothing. Lisa then removes her boots, her socks, and finally her pants revealing her lavender bikini panties. The audience is going wild with cheers, whistles and various comments. Suddenly, Mary Beth Roe comes from QVC's dressing room with a microphone in her hand. As she reaches ringside she says "Colleen, you may have won this match but I have a surprise for you. Ladies, bring them in." Sheila Johns and Sharon Faetsch are guidng two black shrouded figures down to ringside and all we can tell about them is that they are female due to the high heels which they are wearing. MBR says "Sheila, remove that covering from this one." Sheila does and reveals that it is Lynn Murphy who has been stripped down to her black bra and panties with her hands tied behind her and has a gag in her mouth. MBR now says "Sharon, show them who you have." Sharon pulls off the shroud and reveals Diana Percovic who is in her nude bra and panties and has also been tied and gagged. As the crowd erupts with more cheers, whistles, and comments Colleen tries to run after the QVC crew but they depart for the dressing room. Colleen is left to untie her fellow hosts while everyone in the audience has a good look at Lynn and Diana.

[QVC Dude]

Nicely done. :)

[Cubsfan]

Another good one Jack. :)

Cubsfan

I like women with full shoulder blades-Steve Dallas (Bloom County)

[Cubsfan]

I was watching one of my old GLOW tapes the other day laughing at their stupid "rap" intros. What if the HSLOW ladies did that? :)

Cubsfan

I like women with full shoulder blades-Steve Dallas (Bloom County)

[jack]

Is there anyone who would like a story about how Lynn and Diana ended up being brought dow to the ring by QVC?

[McQvc]

Sheila Johnson vs. Lisa Robertson vs. Patti Reilly (Battle of the Look-Alikes)

...which will turn into the lustiest all-girl 3-way sex-scene ever taped by QVC -- after all, this will be a "hot-oil" wrestling match, right???

[QVC Dude]

LOL, good idea, McQvc! :)

Yeah, jack, do that story about Lynn and Diana. :)

[McQvc]

...or how about Colleen Lopez, Rhonda Shear and Regina in a hot-oil match :-)

[QVC Dude]

If any home shopping ladies and the words "hot oil" are involved, it will be a good match! :)

[McQvc]

ANY home shopping "ladies"??

How about Bill Green vs. Dave Venable??

[QVC Dude]

LOL! No, not THOSE kind of ladies! :)

[McQvc]

... well you said... :-)

[QVC Dude]

Yeah, I guess I did. :)

[Cubsfan]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
jack:
Is there anyone who would like a story about how Lynn and Diana ended up being brought dow to the ring by QVC?
tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1417163
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want to post it go for it. :)

Cubsfan

I like women with full shoulder blades-Steve Dallas (Bloom County)

[Cubsfan]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
McQvc:
ANY home shopping "ladies"??

How about Bill Green vs. Dave Venable??
tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1417258
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

That would be a dark match. :) For anyone unfamilar with the dark match term its a match that isn't televised and usually is one of the first matches shown. Its usually a warm up match that most people would want to miss anyway. If at the arena it's a bathroom break or food break match.

Cubsfan

I like women with full shoulder blades-Steve Dallas (Bloom County)

[McQvc]

New match-up:

Rachel Huber vs Patti Reilly (Battle of the Backsides)

Performed in heavy-cream :-)

[Cubsfan]

I might be in the minority on this but I don't like mud or any other substance that would hinder the enjoyment of seeing the ladies wrestling. :)

Cubsfan

You are a waste of space-Basil Fawlty

[MeanSOB]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
McQvc:
New match-up:

Rachel Huber vs Patti Reilly (Battle of the Backsides)

Performed in heavy-cream :-)
tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1422395
-------------------------------------------------------------------------


I would LOVE to see that battle of the huge fat asses!! >:D

[QVC Dude]

What kind of "heavy cream" would they be in? LOL! ;)

[McQvc]

BUKKAKE-cream!!

[QVC Dude]

LOL, that's what I thought! :)

[McQvc]

New Battle:

Leah Williams vs British Ford (Battle of the Hot Chocolates)

Now this "battle" would look GOOD in "heavy cream" >:-)

[QVC Dude]

Ew, I don't know about British Ford. Maybe Marlo Smith, though. White cream on black skin would look very good. ;)

[McQvc]

My bad -- forgot about juicy Marlo (of course "wrestling" with Marlo in bed...)

[QVC Dude]

LOL, "Juicy Marlo"! :)

[Cubsfan]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
McQvc:
Jacque Gonzales vs. Colleen Lopez (Battle of the Boobs??)
tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1402643
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Colleen doesn't have the size of Jacque but someone like Connie Kunkle would fit in nicely there. :)

Cubsfan

You are a waste of space-Basil Fawlty

[Cubsfan]

How about a three way bra and panties paddle on a pole match? Two matches that go great with each other. ;)

Jacque Gonzales vs. Connie Craig vs. Connie Kunkle

Not only do you have to strip the opponents down to their respected bra and panties but the winner must grab their networks paddle. Then give a paddling to the two opponents. :)

Cubsfan

You are a waste of space-Basil Fawlty

[McQvc]

Strong prediction that Connie Kunkle wins this easily (now if you add-in red-haired QVC model Rebekka-with-the-BIG-BOOBS, well...)

[QVC Dude]

Cubby, any match with the ladies that involves the words "three way" will be good! ;)

[McQvc]

...just as long as this "three-way" includes ME... :-)

[jack]

Addition to the strip SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAM match: Lynn Murphy and Diana Percovic have arrived at the arena a few hours before the matches are scheduled to begin. Lynn is dressed in her black and pink dress with black heels while Diana is wearing a fawn colored dress with matching heels. As they walk down the hallway toward the dressing rooms they suddenly meet up with Mary Beth Roe. MBR says to them "Well, if it isn't two of the losers from HSN." Lynn replies, "We'll see who loses tonight in the ring." MBR says "Maybe we'll see before then. Ladies, grab them. Before they can turn around Lynn has been grabbed by Sheila Johnson and Sharon Faetsch while Diana has been grabbed by Leah Williams and Antonella Nester. They quickly begin to drag them into a dressing room. After LM and DP have been brought inside Sharon and Antonella put a hand over the ladies mouths so they can't scream. MBR comes in with a large sports bag and says "All right Ladies, let's get them fixed up. MBR pulls some handkerchiefs out of the bag and approaches Lynn first and tells Sharon to mover her hand from Lynn's mouth. After she does, MBR stuffs a handkerchief in LM's mouth and then ties another one over her mouth to hold it in place. Then she goes over to Diana and when Antonella moves her hand she stuffs another handkerchief in Dp's mouth and ties another one over her mouth. They now have the HSN ladies gagged and MBR says "It's time to strip them down." The dresses are removed from LM and DP revealing that Lynn is wearing a black bra and half slip while Diana is clad in a nude bra and half slip. They then remove the slips and see that Lynn has black panties under her hose while Diana has nude panties beneath hers. The ladies are then moved over to face a table while MBR takes two lengths of rope and ties Lynn and Diana's hands behind them. MBR says "Bend them ober the table." After they are bent over the table, MBR takes a long length of rope and runs it from a table leg near Diana's head then between Diana's arms and back then Lynn's arms and back and then ties it around the table leg near Lynn's head. Now Lynn and Diana cannot raise up from the table in thier bent over position. MBR now says "Let's get their hose off." LM and DP feel hands entering their pantyhose and sliding them down over their buttocks, thighs, knees, calves, ankles and finally from their feet. Their high heels are placed back on their feet as MBR grabs some more rop from the sports bag. She now ties Lynn's left leg to a table leg and her right leg to Diana's left leg and Diana's right leg to a table leg. Now, both ladies are secured and helpless. Sharon now says "MB, I have alittle score to settle with 'blondie' here. Do you mind?" MBR says "Go ahead." Sharon goes over and places her hand on Lynn's buttocks and says "You showed my butt to a lot of people in our match, now it's my turn." Sharon puts her thumbs in the waistband of Lynn's panties and lowers them to just below her buttocks. She then says "You might as well join her, little lady." She then lowers Diana's panties to the same position and returns to Lynn's side. She then begins to spank Lynn who 'mmmmphs' with each swat of her hand. After ten swats she proceeds over to Diana who receives the same treatment and is mmmphing with each swat on her buttocks. After she is finished Sharon rejoins the QVC group where MBR begins to tell Lynn and Diana what is going to happen. MBR: Ladies, you know that tonight Lisa robertson is going up against Colleen Lopez in a strip SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAM match. If Lisa wins, you will be released and nothing further happens. However, if she loses you will be brought down to ringside in your lingerie. Don't worry, we will put your panties back in the proper position before you go down there. Also, we have these black shrouds to put over you so no one will know who you are until we remove them. And now ladies, we are leaving until the match is over." With that the Qvc crew leaves the dressing room. In the silence of the dressing room, Lynn and Diana have been left to contemplate what will happen. Will Colleen lose and they'll be released? or Will Lisa Lose and they'll be brought to ringside? Lynn and Diana can do nothing except wait and struggle in their inescapable predicament.

[QVC Dude]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
McQvc:
...just as long as this "three-way" includes ME... :-)
tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1425907
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Or me! :)

Good stuff again, jack! :)

[McQvc]

GREAT stuff, jack -- would LOVE to that SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAM match in real-life, esp. during HSN's Christmas Break instead of that stoopid "I Remember..." crap :-)

[Cubsfan]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
QVC Dude:
Cubby, any match with the ladies that involves the words "three way" will be good! ;)
www.tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1425879
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOL

It would be the first to have any ShopNBC babe on too. You couldn't ask for a better one to represent ShopNBC.

Cubsfan

You are a waste of space-Basil Fawlty

[QVC Dude]

I've never even seen Connie Kunkle. :(

[McQvc]

QVC Dude needs to get on-board with Wide World of Women.net (one-word URL) and register (it's FREE) and check out this Pagan Fertility Goddess named Connie Kunkle and see what all the hollering is about with this sex-pot :-)

[QVC Dude]

I just did a Google image search on her and saw a few pics. Not bad at all! :)

[jack]

I've seen Connie Kunkle and she is a hottie. Maybe I can figure out a match for her. Any suggestions?

[McQvc]

Connie Kunkle vs Jacque Gonzales (Battle of the Pagan Fertility Goddesses)

This will be a Hot-Oil event with NO bikinis, only bare-skin and ANYTHING GOES !!!

This event wiil also be recorded for future airings during Christmas Break or when QVC/ShopNBC needs a ratings boost (will also be sold as a TSV to the general public of horn-dogs at TVTalkShows.com!!)

[QVC Dude]

Great idea! :)

[Cubsfan]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
QVC Dude:
I just did a Google image search on her and saw a few pics. Not bad at all! :)
www.tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1427748
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

snapandshare.com has a lot of nice pictures of Connie but the best was from I believe its in the Connie Kunkle is hot thread. A nice picture of her top busting out of the blouse, skirt, black hose and heels. Connie in her glory. :)

Cubsfan

You are a waste of space-Basil Fawlty

[McQvc]

Connie Kunkle looks to me like she was a former Porn-star during the early 1980's--DAMN I want to try some "bedroom-wrestling" techinques with this woman!!

[Cubsfan]

I still say Connie looks like a busty version of Cheri Oteri's Morning Latte character. :)

I think Connie would be a very sexy heel. She would have to see Commisioner Cubsfan for being very naughty. Then a proper punishment would be given. :)

Cubsfan

You are a waste of space-Basil Fawlty

[McQvc]

Take it this "punishment" would involve an hours-long strip-search/cavity-search followed with a serious boning... >:-P~~~

[Cubsfan]

No that would be sexual harrassment. No a good paddling should set "naughty" Connie straight. ;)

Cubsfan

You are a waste of space-Basil Fawlty

[McQvc]

Just as long as there are some pix of Connie's freshly-paddled bright-RED butt-cheeks for all to see...

[QVC Dude]

So paddling wouldn't fall under the category of sexual harassment as well, Commissioner Cubsfan? LOL! :)

[Cubsfan]

No because that would be in the contract. Either paddling or a good spanking left to my discretion. :)

Cubsfan

Wouldn't say no if it's warm and wet-Eric Idle

[QVC Dude]

You should put other stuff in the contract then too. ;)

[MeanSOB]

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McQvc:
Connie Kunkle vs Jacque Gonzales (Battle of the Pagan Fertility Goddesses)


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I don't think all that tit would fit in any ring. >:)

[QVC Dude]

They could build a special ring just for their tits and have a "Tit Wrestling Contest"! :)

[McQvc]

Hopefully use their live-studio-audience set so that all of us at TVTalkshows can get up-close to the action :-)

[QVC Dude]

Good idea! :)

[Cubsfan]

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QVC Dude:
You should put other stuff in the contract then too. ;)
www.tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1430793
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Well you have to set some boundries. ;)

Cubsfan

Wouldn't say no if it's warm and wet-Eric Idle

[QVC Dude]

Yeah, "some" boundaries, LOL! ;)

[Cubsfan]

When they report to Commisioner Cubfan's office they are required to sit on my lap. ;)

Cubsfan

Wouldn't say no if it's warm and wet-Eric Idle

[McQvc]

...and "discuss" the first thing to cum up !?!

[Kaliel]

A battle of the big gals could be a main event but of course we mean TITTIES.

Who would you want to be in such an event guys?

[QVC Dude]

Antonella Nester VS. Patti Reilly! Battle of the big sexy girls! :)

[McQvc]

Mmmm...Antonella vs Patti -- just got my front-row seats for this XXX event!!

[Kaliel]

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McQvc:
Mmmm...Antonella vs Patti -- just got my front-row seats for this XXX event!!
www.tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1434019
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Now thats a freaking main event !

[QVC Dude]

I'm in the front too! We're so close to the action we're getting hit by sweat...and maybe some other bodily fluids! ;)

[McQvc]

hehehe...getting "creamed-on" by Antonella and Patti --ah, life's simple pleasures! >:-P~~

[QVC Dude]

Yes indeed! :)

[Kaliel]

Wonder if we can have a private meeting with the winners or for that matter losers?

[QVC Dude]

The meeting could be during their after-match shower! :)

[Kaliel]

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QVC Dude:
The meeting could be during their after-match shower! :)
www.tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1434149
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Great thinking!

[QVC Dude]

Thanks!!! :)

[Kaliel]

You're welcome

[Cubsfan]

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McQvc:
...and "discuss" the first thing to cum up !?!
www.tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1433914
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More like the error of their ways. ;)

Cubsfan

Wouldn't say no if it's warm and wet-Eric Idle

[Cubsfan]

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Kaliel:
A battle of the big gals could be a main event but of course we mean TITTIES.

Who would you want to be in such an event guys?
www.tvtalkshows.com/board/showpost.php?p=1433924
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Jacque Gonzales vs Connie Kunkle :))))

Cubsfan

Wouldn't say no if it's warm and wet-Eric Idle

[McQvc]

WOW!! Jacque Juggs Vs Pagan Fertility Goddess Connie -- let's hope that all of us in the front row get hit with all that Big Tit meat that will be flying around in that ring!!

[Putbeds]

Jacque Gonzales vs Connie Kunkle? LOL. It would make Ali-Frazier look like an Amish bake sale. It would be a submission match held in a swimming pool and after 45 minutes of rough action; the 2 ladies say the hell with fighting and have THE MOTHER OF ALL GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION WITH FRENCH KISSING, CLIT MUNCHING AND LUNG FONDLING ANYONE COULD HANDLE!!!! ---- "Ted Nugent called; he wants his shirt back" - George Clooney (Oceans 11)

[QVC Dude]

I would buy that pay-per-view! :)

[Putbeds]

Dude, there would be a fight between all of us here of who would be the cameraman for this dream fight. Or the ref or the commentator. ---- "Ted Nugent called; he wants his shirt back" - George Clooney (Oceans 11)

[McQvc]

I NEED to be the Ref, so that i can get between these Sex-Goddesses!! :-)

[QVC Dude]

We can take turns being the ref. One of us can ref while the other one "recharges", if you know what I mean. ;)

[McQvc]

Mmmm...smothered by all that tit-meat (Homer Simpson-type drooling)!!

[Cubsfan]

I have this scenario running through my head.

*Beastie Boys-Sabotage plays*

Jerry Lawler- It's Commisoner Cubsfan!

Joey Styles- The Commisoner what is he doing here?

Lawler-Maybe he has more news on the big puppies match. Joey Styles have I told you I love big puppies?

Styles-Yes King you have.

Lawler-They're so soft and warm. Hee Hee I can't wait!

Cubsfan-I have had many in depth discussions with both contestants along with WWE Women's Champ Trish Stratus and Torrie Wilson. I have decided on a match that will not only be fair to both contestants but will be a entertaining match for all the fans. It will start off as a traditonal evening gown match but each lady will have to defend their corner for the paddle on the poles. But that does not decide the winner. The next part is touching all four corners but that does not make the winner. After stripping of the evening gowns to bra and panties, getting the paddle on the pole and paddling your opponent, then all four corners must be touched the final goal is to win by submission. The loser will be paraded around the arena from top level to bottom in her "unmentionables" that way all the fans no matter if they are in the nose bleed seats can get an up close look at her. Now for a match like this we need a special referee. Someone who will call this down the middle and that person is MICK FOLEY. After always getting the crap kicked out of him even when he won he deserves a match to ref like this one.

Styles-OH MY GOD!! Mick Foley!

Lawler-WHAT?! I should be the special referee! I have expertise in this area!

Styles-The winner has to finish stripping their opponent, paddling them, touch all four corners then make their opponent submit. Then to make the loser do the walk of shame around the arena in nothing but their bra and panties. Can he make them do all that?

Lawler-Of course he can he's the commisoner, Styles. The loser might be wearing heels also so it's just not bra and panties.

Styles-Oh that will make all the difference, King. Get ready everybody Connie Kunkle vs. Jacque Gonzales one of these women will not only be in their bra and panties but paraded around.

Lawler-Maybe both of them Styles they could be tied going into the submission win?

Styles-That's a good point King both of these lovely ladies will have to find a very good submission move.

King-PUPPIES! PUPPIES!

Styles-Yes King puppies indeed.

Cubsfan

Wouldn't say no if it's warm and wet

[QVC Dude]

LOL Cubsfan. :)

[Cubsfan]

Thank you Dude.

Cubsfan

Stop screwing around-Brock Sampson (Venture Brothers)

[QVC Dude]

You're welcome. :)

[Cubsfan]

From the dark matches file:

Bobbi Ray Carter vs Carolyn Gracie. :)

Cubsfan

Stop screwing around-Brock Sampson

[McQvc]

Geez Cubsfan, gotta be so brutal to "the boys" -- that's the stuff nightmares are made of!! :)

[jack]

It's time for another match between QVC and HSN. Lynn Murphy has demanded a match against Sheila Johnson and Sharon Faetsch after what happened at the Strip SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAM Match. She has announced that she will have a partner as of yet unnamed. Sharon and Sheila have arrived at the ring along with Mary Beth Roe and Leah Williams. MBR is in her pink suit and white heels and Leah is in an eggplant suit and black heels. As HSN opens the dressing room door Lynn enters and behind her is Kelly Repassy who will be her partner. Accompanying them to ringside is Diana Percovic who is attired in a white suit and heels. The ref for the match is announced and it is Marianne Manko who is dressed in a Denise Austin workout outfit. Marianne gives the instructions and calls for the bell for this two out of three fall event. Lynn and Sharon begin the match and Lynn begins with a furious assault on Sharon. Arm drags, body slams, forearms, kicks and chops are used against Sharon. Lynn is battering her around the ring and clearly has an advantage. The QVC ladies are shouting for Sheila to do something but Marianne blocks her from entering unless a tag is made. Finally, Sharon makes a tag and collapses in her corner. Sheila comes in and begins a martial arts attack but Lynn is fighting back and manages to stun Sheila with a kick to the midsection followed by a forearm to the head. She tags Kelly who comes in and batters Sheila with forearms to the chest and head. As Kelly wears Sheila down she delivers a kick to the midsection which bends her over. Kelly then puts her hands under Sheila's chin and twists her around until they are back to back and lifts Sheila off her feet into the hangman hold. Sharon comes in but is blocked by Lynn and Marianne goes over to hear Sheila submit to the hold. First fall to HSN. The econd fall begins and Kelly and Sheila face off. Kelly is working over Sheila who finally makes a tag to Sharon. Kelly grabs Sharon and makes a tag to Lynn who proceeds to begin an all out assault against Sharon again. When Lynn has been in for a few minutesand has worn Sharon down, she tags Kelly who whips Sharon into the ropes for a backdrop. As Kelly tries for the pin Sheila enters to break it up and Lynn enters to brace Sheila and sends her into the corner. Marianne breaks up the action between Lynn and Sheila and tries to get Lynn back to her corner but in the meantime Sheila has climbed the second rope and leaps with an elbow smash to the back of Kelly's neck who is fighting with Sharon. Kelly is stunned but doesn't go down. Sheila mounts the second rope again and delivers another elbow smash to Kelly's neck and she falls to the mat. Sharon attempts the pin and Marianne is in position to count the pin. Second fall to QVC. The third fall begins and Sharon and Kelly face off. Sharon kicks her in the midsection and then delivers an elbow to the back of the neck. Sharon then repeats this combination and Kelly falls to the mat. Sharon tries for the pin but Kelly kicks out at the count of two. Sharon then tags Sheila who delivers a side kick to Kelly's midsection and then another to her head. Kelly goes down again and Sheila tries for a pin but Kelly kicks out at the count of two. As they continue battling Kelly finally lands a blow to Sheila's stomach and then a forearm to the head which sends her spinning. Kelly tags Lynn who enters and gives her a boot to the midsection and applies a snap mare which sends her to the mat. Sheila rolls to her corner and tags Sharon who is met by Lynn in a furious attack. As they battle on Sheila runs in and hits Lynn from behind with a chop to the neck. Kelly enters and begins battling with Sheila bringing Marianne over to attempt to separate them. In the meantime, Mary Beth and Leah have climbed the ring apron and are holding MBR's purse and telling Sharon to whip Lynn into it. Diana sees what is happening and runs over to the ring apron and clips Leah and Mary Beth's legs from under them. As Lynn comes off the ropes she hits Sharon with a flying body press and Marianne sees it and counts the pin. Third fall to HSN. As Marianne raises Kelly and Lynn's hands, Sheila attacks them and is joined by Sharon. Marianne tries to break up the action in the ring but outside the ring Mary Beth and Leah are attacking Diana. As Leah holds Diana from behind Mary Beth rams her purse into Diana's midsection and as she bends over crashes it down over her head sending her to the floor. Leah and Mary Beth enter the ring and Mary Beth hits Marianne over the back of the head with her purse sending her through the ropes while Leah hits Lynn in the back with a kick from her high heel shod foot. Mary Beth then hits Kelly over the back of the head with the purse sending her to the mat. Mary Beth signals Leah to help her and Sheila with Kelly. Leah and Sheila then back Kelly into a corner and pull her arms over the top rope. Mary Beth has gone to the ring apron and pulls out a pair of pantyhose from her purse. They're going to tie her in the corner as they did Kathy Wolf a few months ago. After Mary Beth ties Kelly's hands behind her and secures them to the ringpost, she tells Sheila to help Sharon with Lynn. Mary Beth then uses another pair of pantyhose to tie Kelly's ankles and secures them to the ringpost. She then enters the ring and pulls a pair of panties from her purse and as Leah pries Kelly's mouth open she stuffs them in so she can say nothing. Mary Beth and Leah now leave Kelly helpless in the corner and proceed over to Lynn. As Lynn is being held by Sheila and Sharon, Mary Beth pulls a pair of scissors from her purse and tells Lynn, "It's time you had a new shorter style." As Mary Beth approaches a helpless Lynn there is a roar from the crowd. The HSN crew is arriving in the form of Collen Lopez, Kathy Wolf, Judy Crowell, and Suzanne Runyan. As they hit the ring, Lynn is dropped as each finds an opponent. Lynn picks up the scissors which Mary Beth has dropped and runs over to Kelly. She removes Kelly's gag and then cuts her loose from her bondage. In the meantime, Colleen has gone after Mary Beth, Judy after Sheila, Kathy after Sharon, and Suzanne after Leah. As Kelly and Lynn join in the fracas, Sheila tries a side kick to Judy's head but misses and catches her ankle on the top rope. Judy then delivers a tackle to Sheila's other leg and hyper-extends the leg and sends her crashing to the mat with a leg injury. Judy then pushes her out of the ring. Kathy who has been working on Sharon now sends her flying over the top rope to the floor. Leah and Mary Beth who have been worked over by Suzanne and Colleen find themselves against six opponents. HSN works quickly to remove their suits, slips and pantyhose and put them face down on the mat. Lynn has grabbed their pantyhose and uses the scissors to cut the legs from them. As Mary Beth and Leah are held down, she uses the nylon legs to tie their hands. She then puts their high heels back on them and loops the leg around the heels first before tying their ankles so they can't get their shoes off. Colleen hsa found a tube of red lipstick in Mary Beth's purse and begins drawing a circle on Mary Beth's white panties around the anal area with words at the tip and bottom "Enter Here." She then goes over to Leah who is wearing black panties and writes there "Big Butt." They then stand Mary Beth and Leah on their feet and due to the way their ankles are tied they are unable to move without falling. Kathy goes over to the corner and picks up the pair of panties that were used to gag Kelly and approaches Mary Beth and says "I believe I owe you for this a few months ago." She then pushes the panty into Mary Beth's mouth and she can only make unintelligible sounds. Suzanne goes over and finds Leah's black slip and splits it along the slits and takes one half and folds it up tight and goes over to Leah. She says to her "I owe you for some things which you said about me." She then stuffs the slip into Leah's mouth and says "Try doing AM style with that in your mouth." Colleen grabs the microphone and says "Gentlemen, I hope you are enjoying this sight and are taking some photos for posting on the internet." Mary Beth and Leah are mmmmmmphing wildly as photos are made. HSN gathers up their crew and Marianne and go off to celebrate what has been a wild match and a most delicious slice of revenge against QVC.