PK...
08-08-2006, 12:59 PM
I really got a kick out of these... Don't recall any one ever being "shocked" or clicking their tongues at these lines... <wink>
;0))
PK
Some Hollywood Squares quotes...
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high
should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes!
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party
and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and
ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I
Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a
twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
apartment.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you
going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing
strawberries!
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at
nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the
closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the
bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Campfire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give
birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the
dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with
getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body,
what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't
neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish
on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife
or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason reported that he firmly believes in them and
has already seen them on at least 2 occasions.
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
;0))
PK
Some Hollywood Squares quotes...
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high
should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes!
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party
and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and
ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I
Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a
twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
apartment.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you
going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing
strawberries!
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at
nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the
closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the
bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Campfire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give
birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the
dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with
getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body,
what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't
neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish
on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife
or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason reported that he firmly believes in them and
has already seen them on at least 2 occasions.
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.