TO: GOD From: THE DOG

[Mandy]

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

;)

[GOLDEN POND]

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Mandy;1770213:
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

;)
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UMMMMMMMM..... HAVE you PAID THE TAXES FOR YOUR DOGS' TAGS!!!! ARE THEY REGISTERED WITH A LOCAL VET!

[Zippy]

~~REGISTERED WITH A LOCAL VET!~~

HUH?

LOL Mandy...cute !

[GOLDEN POND]

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Zippy;1770220:
~~REGISTERED WITH A LOCAL VET!~~

HUH?

LOL Mandy...cute !
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UH.. DO YOU SUPPORT LOCAL ATTEMPTS TO PROVIDE ASPCA SERVICES TO PETS THAT NEED IT!

[Jules]

LOL, that was so cute! I saw my dogs asking EVERY ONE of those questions!

[Pal]

lol Mandy~~~ I swear, as I was reading this my dog jumped up on my lap with his squeaky ball and proceeded to rub it in my hair, lol. I know he'd like the answer to the "PS" also........ :)

[Zippy]

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Zippy;1770220:
~~REGISTERED WITH A LOCAL VET!~~

HUH?

LOL Mandy...cute !
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UH.. DO YOU SUPPORT LOCAL ATTEMPTS TO PROVIDE ASPCA SERVICES TO PETS THAT NEED IT!
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YOU have NO idea about my involvement with homeless pets. So dont get all ignorant !

I just questioned what you mean by "REGISTERED with a Local Vet"

What does that mean?

[Jules]

I know....I'm curious myself....


My dogs are PATIENTS at a vet's office.....

[Zippy]

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Jules;1770297:
I know....I'm curious myself....


My dogs are PATIENTS at a vet's office.....
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Mine also Jules

Unless he means registered as far as being recorded by the county...for rabies shots.

Here in MY county <Cook> if you dont get a rabies shot..you get a HAPPY little reminder from the county.

[GOLDEN POND]

Thanks to Mandy for the cute post!

Victoria Stillwell is a British dogtrainer who has an excellent program on ANIMAL PLANET --that is, IT'S ME OR THE DOG that is, according to ANIMAL PLANET, planning to cast episodes in the US as well as Britain!

[Jules]

We don't get reminders from the county, we just get call after call from the Vet's office, and little postcards from them.....

[Scoops]

..............Love it Mandy! ♥

[Jules]

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Zippy;1770335:
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Jules;1770297:
I know....I'm curious myself....


My dogs are PATIENTS at a vet's office.....
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Mine also Jules

Unless he means registered as far as being recorded by the county...for rabies shots.

Here in MY county <Cook> if you dont get a rabies shot..you get a HAPPY little reminder from the county.
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"Unless HE means...." So GOLDEN POND is MALE? OR FEMALE?

[TrevorsWhore]

FIND A CAT ONE!!

that was too cool

[GOLDEN POND]

How many pet owners have benefitted from Ceasar Milan (THE DOG WHISPERER) and, of course, Victoria Stilwell's (ITS ME OR THE DOG) tips on making unruly dogs into family pets!

In volunteering at a local animal shelter, i have seen that prospective pet-parents do in fact seem to prefer pooches that have at least SOME semblence of obedience training!

[Jules]

If you raise them with discipline and set boundaries from the time they are puppies, you don't need the obedience schools.....

[GOLDEN POND]

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Jules;1770735:
If you raise them with discipline and set boundaries from the time they are puppies, you don't need the obedience schools.....
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ROFLMAO!

Victoria Stilwell's program shows families that have let their pooches control the family...literally and/or pet parents who believe that the pooches are, in fact, human babies and treated accordingly.
Victoria simply instructs the pampered pooch parents in how to reclaim the role of pack leader instead of parents of spoiled poochs....
Thanks to ANIMAL PLANET for such programming!

[Jules]

That doesnt make any sense in reference to my post....my dogs dont walk all over me. They know the difference between "good dog / bad dog" and they are obedient.....

You know, all a dog really wants is to make it's owners happy....and to be treated with kindness and love....that's how it is at my house. My dogs (when they do come inside) don't piss on the floor, or chew on the drapes, etc....

They Sit, Stay, Fetch, etc.