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<GO>

03-03-2003, 04:43 AM

For fans of Jillian, Dorothy and Steve: there is a board for that. This is the board for Regis, Kelly, Gelman and Todd.

03-03-2003, 04:55 AM

That's a bright idea...they should also take those that post about Survivor, Bachelorette, Bachelor, Letterman, Amazing Race, Celebrity Survivor,The View, the awards shows ...oh and while we are at it , get another bus for those that discuss recipes, mops, ailments, animals, children...hmmm, how many folks would that leave here...5, 10? lol Sheesh.

03-03-2003, 04:57 AM

OOPs forgot those of us that post about the soaps...gee, I wouldn't know which bus to get on...I am guilty of all of those things.

03-03-2003, 05:20 AM

Funny Scoops!!!

<Todd>

03-03-2003, 06:09 AM

who?

<Linda>

03-03-2003, 06:14 AM

But Scoops, there IS a board for GDL, so that would be the appropriate place to discuss it. As for talking about Letterman, that is usually only when Kelly or Regis are on. Joe Millionaire, Bachleor, Bachleorette (sp) is usually discussed here because Regis is talking about the shows. It just makes sense that if there is a board for GDL, that is where it should be talked about.

<vlanj>

03-03-2003, 08:23 AM

Scoops, very funny post. lol

03-03-2003, 08:31 AM

Linda....I was just kidding. Why does everyone beg to differ about every last thing on here...even the jokes? C'mon...you didn't smile even once...not even bout the mops and ailments?

<Linda>

03-03-2003, 09:35 AM

I guess I didn't see it as a joke.....sorry. Its hard to know when you're just reading the written word. Thats why sometimes adding J/K helps (not being sarcastic).

03-03-2003, 09:48 AM

Gotcha...guess I won't be taking my comedy act on the road anytime soon. lol

You know when the original poster added "Todd" (Art) onto the list, I smiled...I just assumed it was all tongue in cheek anyhoo. I was thinking...you tell a joke, I tell a joke...just somebody... please tell a joke!!!

03-03-2003, 09:57 AM

Scoops...Keep it up...you are right on track...you make me smile...we should all smile more...I don't think some people know how.

<PK>

03-03-2003, 10:03 AM

I can't recall if I ever mentioned my long boat trip here or not, but I'm sure I did at Maria's club during the post the most contest, so "some" may have heard me reference it...

I was going through some old photos and was reminded of a pretty interesting phenomenon. Thought some of you might find it interesting, too...

Amyway..

I took a swell boat trip with dear friends up the Hudson River at Albany, NY, through the Erie Canal, and into the finger lakes. Going through the Locks on the Erie Canal was a fascinating experience – These rectangular water filled
steel boxes are almost their own little worlds, and have been been since the early 1***s. (Little bit of trivia I picked up chasing my NY ancestors. ;0))

It was a pretty big boat (65 footer), and we would have to enter the lock and lash onto the side, then wait for the water to fill it and move us up to the next level. Lots of time to look around, but nothing to look at but 4 steel walls… Here's the interesting part... Moss is very prevalent on the top part of the locks, and especially on the tops. On the tops, right in the heavy moss, were many small birds nests, one after another, in various stages of repair. It
appeared that at least half of them were occupied… I did not recognize the bird at all – curious, to say the least.

Well whether you know it or not, I pride myself on my bird knowledge, but those little guys had me scratching my head. We had to go through several locks, and several hours before we got to our next berth. It was the same thing every time – mossy tops and birds nests all in a row. I was really curious, now.. I drove my friend crazy. (LOL, a lot of stuff I did drove my friend crazy…)

Well, we got to our next berth, tied up at the pier, and hiked up the hill to the store for a six-pack, or two (no drinking and driving). When we were checking out, I asked the clerk about those strange little birds… Luckily, he was very familiar with them and said they came en mass every spring, and raised two broods before heading back north, somewhere. He did say they were a little known species, with very specific nesting requirements, namely mossy lock tops.

In fact they were named because of their particular nesting requirements…

They are, of course, none other than the VERY rare

"Lock Moss Nesters".

GROAN!!! Gotcha!!!!

;0))

PK

<Linda>

03-03-2003, 10:05 AM

Seriously linder, talk about a dog with a bone. What is your problem? Why do you feel you have to comment on every post today that people make to me? I explained to Scoops that it is sometimes hard to know someone is joking just by reading what they've written. I think she understands. Why did you feel you had to post the "some people don't know how to smile" slam?

03-03-2003, 10:20 AM

Thanks linder...smiles back atcha!!!

PK...LOL...you did "get me"!!! That's the spirit!! Cute story.

I have another joke...dumb blonde variety.

These two blondes were at the pearly gates...statistics were being taken as to cause of death. The first blonde replies "froze to death" when asked by St. Peter.

The second blonde had a longer story to tell. "heart attack, caused by husband's infidelity" She goes on to tell the sordid details...she comes home suspicious of an affair....she is positive there is another woman there....she smells the perfume...sees the rumpled bedding....she races around the house from top to bottom...looking in closets, under beds, behind curtains, no "other woman" is found, so she continues looking...in the garage...under the porch...in the attic...finally she collapses in a heap of a massive hearet attack.
"Sad story" says St. Peter.

"You know what's even sadder?" says the first blonde..."If she had just looked in the refrigerator, we'd both be alive today!"

<Jinh>

03-03-2003, 10:21 AM

I thought Scoops post was pretty funny, actually...I missed the "Todd" at the top! lol!
One subject you missed though, Scoops, is Weather...what would we do if we couldn't talk about the weather!? lol

Hey, did I tell you all that my puppy wags his tail in his sleep?
It's very cute ... thump, thump, thump...

Jinh

03-03-2003, 10:26 AM

Hey Jinh...the weather thing just about gets rid of the last 10 folks. lol

How sweet about your dog...gotta get that on video and send it in to FHV! The animal funnies are my favorite.

<Jinh>

03-03-2003, 10:29 AM

LOL!
Two good "ones"...I always like blond jokes!

Geez, PK! Lock Moss Nesters...LOL!

Have I ever told the "ice cream joke" here?
I don't want to post it if you've all heard it...
Jinh

03-03-2003, 10:32 AM

Post away please...I haven't heard it. Jokes are a good thing!

03-03-2003, 10:34 AM

Just wanted to add...going out to meet the school bus in a couple of minutes, so be back later on. Have fun!

<Jinh>

03-03-2003, 04:59 PM

Okay, because I got one tell it vote, I will...
lol

A little old lady walks into an ice cream store...
She says to the man behind the counter:
"I'd like a gallon of chocolate a gallon of strawberry and a gallon of vanilla"...
The man says "I can give you the vanilla and the strawberry, but we're out of chocolate."
"Hummm" she says "well, I'll take a half gallon of vanilla a half-gallon of chocolate and a half-gallon of strawberry."
The man says "I'm sorry mam, but as I said, we are out of chocolate."
"Oh darn," the woman says, "well then, just give me a quart of strawberry, a quart of vanilla and a quart of chocolate."
Getting frustrated now, the man says "listen lady, I told you we are out of CHOCOLATE!"
The little lady says "Well, you don't need to bite my head off!" "Just give me a Pint of Vanilla, a Pint of Chocolate and a Pint of Strawberry!"
Totally exasperated, the man says "Lady, how do you spell the van in vanilla?"
she replies "V A N." "Good" he says, "Now, how do you spell the straw in strawberry?" She replies "S T R A W." "Very good, Now how do you spell the fuck in chocolate?" The woman very puzzled replied "there is no F U C K in chocolate." The man replies "That's what I've been trying to tell you! There is no FUCKING chocolate!"

03-03-2003, 05:36 PM

Jihn.......that's funny!!!! I've probably heard it before... but you know how the mind goes!!! Scoops... FUNNY!!! I, too, missed the "Todd" at the beginning.... but when you mentioned mops and recipes... Ouch!!! Guilty as charged on many accounts!!!! )While we're at it... 30 below celsius here this morning...)

<MCD>

03-03-2003, 07:00 PM

Trying to add to the humor:

On a flight from New York to Paris, soon after take-off the pilot announces: "I'm sorry, but we have lost one of our engines. Subsequently, we will arrive in Paris approximately half an hour late."

A few minutes later, he comes on again:
"Hate to disappoint you folks, but another engine is down. Don't panic - we've still got two going, but now we'll be about 2 hours late."

After another few minutes, he comes on again:
"Look, I am really sorry about this, but somehow we have lost our third engine. Still nothing serious to worry about, but we will be about five hours late to Paris."

After hearing this, the blonde turns to the guy sitting next to her and remarks,
"If we lose the other one, we'll be up here all night."

03-04-2003, 01:09 PM

OK....I will seriously take offense at these blonde jokes in a couple of hours...after I get done coloring my hair!!!! :)

Oh, maybe I can't post about that...where is the "coloring your hair" board???????

03-04-2003, 01:27 PM

You guys are all too funny!! I forgot to come back and check this thread this morning. Thanks for the laughs. I'm gonna steal those.

Lizzie, you're making me cold. BRRRR.
Skeeter...I'm "enhanced" in that dept. too! lol

See, now we have a joke thread...oh oh!!!

<lisac>

03-04-2003, 01:37 PM

<<<<<<<<<Oh, maybe I can't post about that...where is the "coloring your hair" board??????? >>>>>>>>>

great line, Skeeter!

03-04-2003, 01:38 PM

LOVE THIS.....

> A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife
>stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
>
>
> Dear Lord:
>
> I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at
>home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to
>switch with mine for a day. Amen.
>
>
> God, in His infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning,
>sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his
>mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast,
>packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry
>cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a
>deposit,
>went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, pay the
>bills and balance the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and
>bathed
>the dog. Then it was already 1:00 p.m. and he hurried to make the beds, do
>the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the
>school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way
>home. Set out cookies and milk and got the kids organized to do their
>homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the
>ironing. At 4:30 p.m. he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for
>salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After
>supper he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed
>the kids, and put them to bed. At 9:00 p.m. he was exhausted and, though
>his
>daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make
>love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
>
>
> The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
>"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's
>being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back." The
>Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned
>your
>lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
>You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
>
> *VOTED #1 EMAIL OF THE YEAR BY WOMEN

03-04-2003, 01:50 PM

Geez, PK! Lock Moss Nesters...LOL!

The entire time I was reading your story, I think "Well PK, this bird has to be in the swallow family, and I am sure you know swallows. Then the punch line, funny.;o) ;0)

03-04-2003, 04:55 PM

Scoops,
That was funny, I really laughed out loud.