Favorite Quotes

[RubixCube]

If you don't know the quote word-for-word, that's okay. Paraphrasing is okaie-dokie.

My favorite was one time Lisa R. had someone on as her guest, and they were selling some kind of "sensible" shoes. Lisa said tht she only has high heels, etc., and then she said, "One time one of my friends asked me why I don't have any sensible shoes. I said 'Honey, I am over 30 and single, there ARE sensible shoes!!!'"

Too funny! Love that girl!

[Denim&Co.]

MacDonald Carey: "Like sand through the hour glass, so are the Days of our Lives."

Does that count as one?

[SBTZMom]

Ask not what you can do for QVC....ask what QVC can do for you.

[Denim&Co.]

SBTZMom! That was a great one! I love it!

[Denim&Co.]

The early bird catches the best QVC products...and Pat's lips!

A fool and QVC are soon parted.

[Denim&Co.]

Don't order till you see the intro to the TSV.

That's one small step for QVC, one giant step for ShopNBC.

[occaseshpr]

I couldn't possibly remember the exact words she used, but a l-o-n-g time ago there was a show with Judy when she divulged a pretty personal tidbit about herself. (One of those instances where it would be called "T.M.I." now!) I believe the product was a sport-type of shoe and she said something like, "These have the washable lining. They'd be perfect for me, because I have a stinky foot problem. I'm always wondering whether anyone can smell my feet." It stands out in my mind so strongly (ha) because it was right around the time she and Jeff were married. I wondered at the time if her "sharing" a detail like that would be embarrassing to him. He wasn't the type to point out very personal shortcomings. (At least not on-air, anyway!)

[Vhisky]

Brian: "You don't have to follow me, you're all individuals!"

Gathered throng: "We're all individuals!!"

One guy in the back: "I'm not."



-Monty Pythons' "Life of Brian"

[opie'smom]

I thought I had mono once, but it turns out i was just really really bored. From Wayne's World.

Honestly, I don't remember ordering it. I don't collect dolls and I don't like Marie Osmond, yet, oddly one was just delivered to me. From my own vault of Life Sucks, so just dial 1-800-345-1212 and nice treats will be delivered to you, quotes.

[Vhisky]

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another which states that this has already happened.

-Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"

[opie's mom]

Vhisky, you are a person of my own heart. Anyone who quotes both Life of Brian and Douglas Adams is a-ok. Did/do you read Vonnegut and Richard Brautigan (and i probably spelled his name wrong - really funny guy wrote back in the 60's, committed suicide {which does make me wonder if some of these lost souls had only stuck around until the invention of the internet and e-mails and buddy lists, and yes even qvc he/she could have found a kindered spirit somewhere and perhaps seemed less alone}) Anyway, my point is, i enjoy your messages!

[Vhisky]

Thank you ma'am. I read one Vonnegut book years ago, can't even remember the name of it. Never read Brautigan. I have somewhat eclectic tastes in movies and books, I reckon. Anything with a sense of humor is right up my alley.

[opie's mom]

Has there ever been match making on this board? A man with a sense of humor, who knows what qvc is, am i dreaming this?

[Vhisky]

Yes, this is a dream. Wake up Opie's mom...wake up...

[opie'smom]

Damn!

[Denim&Co.]

Are you the same opie'smom has the post above, whose has a space between words? That user is not registered.
Sorry, just curious.

[Vhisky]

'course if you're interested in a Rennaissance Man...or somebody who can just spell rennaissance...or use it in a sentence...gimme a holler, lol.

[Vhisky]

I liked this thread...here's another quote I read tonight:

The Universe is run by the complex weaving of three elements: energy, matter and self-interest.

-"Nodwick" cartoon strip

[amy]

Here's one of my many favorites:

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Maya Angelou

[Celestia]

For my fellow dog lovers out there... and I know there are lots of you here. One of my favorite quotes..... brings tears to my eyes every time I read it and unfortunately we can't give the author credit as it is anonymous...


"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."

[opie's mom]

What a very wonderful quote! of course now i feel unworthy of even my dog. but i've printed that one out and will stick it on the ol' frig. also on the frig a quote from mae west that sort of sums up my life: "I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."

[HHIgirl]

Vhiksy I do belive I am developing a crush on you! A man that reads book that doesn't not have picutes is so appealing. And a sense of humor seals the deal. Now how tall are you? What size jeans? Levi's or Wrangler's?

Oh this was about quotes..not getting Vhisky to quote his stats. Well then..


Now I lay me down to rest
I pray that all the world be blessed
Lady Moon and sister star, watch over me from afar
Mother Earth is always there, and keeps me safe with in her care
The Lord of dreams will dance and sing
And happy dreams will to me bring

And when I wake to great the day
Brother sun will light my way

[SBTZMom]

Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

[Vhisky]

HHIGirl: Vhiksy I do belive I am developing a crush on you! A man that reads book that doesn't not have picutes is so appealing. And a sense of humor seals the deal. Now how tall are you? What size jeans? Levi's or Wrangler's?

I don't wear jeans, mainly sweats and khakis. I'm 5'10" and I could tell you pant size but I'd have to kill you, lol. And I love all books, with pictures and without. Pictures pretty.

Oh, and I have a total crush on all you great ladies...

[yankee]

"Dad, don't eat me! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" (from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids)

[aloe]

Shirley McClain -- Steele Magnolias: "I'm not crazy, I've just been in a bad mood for the past xx years." (can't remember it exactly)

and... "Get over yourself" -- from When Harry Met Sally.

[captain]

"Loretta your life is going down the toilet" Moonstruck

[SBTZMom]

Sam Baldwin: What is "tiramisu"?
Jay: You'll find out.
Sam Baldwin: Well, what is it?
Jay: You'll see!
Sam Baldwin: Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I'm not gonna know what it is!

(Sleepless In Seattle)

[HHIgirl]

Vhisky, sweats are appealing allows for easy access.Oops I think I had said too much. Gotta ditch the khakis man. Brings up horrible memories of standing in amount of the aforemention at my Gap store at 2AM trying to fold them all before my store opens.

Quote for the day "leave the gun, take the canoles"

[captain]

Spooie, thanks for the tip on the Rykas, sneakers can get very expensive, do they come in wide widths? Q doesn't sell very much in the way of wide width shoes. Maybe if I had wide widths earlier in my life I wouldn't have big 'ole bunions. It's my own fault, I had to force my big ole feet in those ittie bittie spikes for hours at a time just so I could look good. I have wised up and don't give a hoot in hell how my feet look, as long as I'm comfy. Can anyone explain why Q sell clothes in size 3X but not wide width shoes? I guess large women have medium width feet. The rest of my body is not wide however, just the feet. Go figure.

[nightsky]

"A woman laughing is a woman conquered."
Naploean Bonaparte

[Celestia]

"You can lead a whore to water but you can't make her think".

- Dorothy Parker

[SBTZMom]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

[yankee]

"Some days, you get the bear, . . . and some days, he just goes off to work without bothering you."

"Some days, you get the bear, . . . and some days, you get the pool boy."

"If at first you don't succeed, it's probably time for another SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAM."

[Sittin'n]

Since "Amazing Grace" is my all-time favorite song, I find this quote by hymn writer John Newton especially poignant:

"I remember two things: I am a great sinner. And Jesus is a great Savior."

John Newton
(1725-1807)

[yankee]

"If she's a lady, then I'm a vermicious knid."

- Grandpa Joe

[Vhisky]

'Women should be obscene and not heard.'

Groucho Marx

[411honey]

"The best gift you can give your kids is to love their mother."

[Celestia]

"She who laughs last, is usually blonde".



No offense blondes! :o)

[Vhisky]

"In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were REAL men, women were REAL women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were REAL small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri."

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

"Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much...the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons."


more Douglas Adams

[yankee]

i love love love douglas adams...he has a real flair for combining honesty and humor, the ability to make us think about and laugh at ourselves at the same time...keep 'em coming, my brutha!

(suddenly, i'm lamenting not having room for some of my beloved book collection...sigh...)

[captain]

MORE!!!!MORE!!!!MORE!!!!

[occaseshpr]

One of my "hobbies" is keeping a collection of my favorite quotes. It's almost like saying you favor one child over another to pick one or two! But I'll offer a few for now...

"You can compromise on how you always thought things should be or would be. You cannot compromise on what you need in order to feel good about yourself." ----Judith Sills, PhD.

"If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men." ----Francis of Assisi (1182-1226)

"Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart." ----Caryn Leschen

The last one gets me to thinkin'...what's the condition of my condition at FIFTY-five??? LOL!!!

[Vhisky]

'Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive advertisement said, 3) electrocuted the immediate neighbourhood, 4) and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it, this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself lucky to be allowed to give his money to the manufacturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser's own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing briefcases and very thin watches.'


"I know about people who talk about suffering for the common good. It's never bloody them! When you hear a man shouting 'Forward, brave comrades!' you'll see he's the one behind the bloody big rock and the one wearing the only really arrow-proof helmet!"


'Above the hearth was a huge SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMwork sign saying "Mother". No tyrant in the whole history of the world had ever achieved a domination so complete.'


'It is said that whosoever the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad. In fact, whosoever the gods wish to destroy, they first hand the equivalent of a stick with a fizzing fuse and Acme Dynamite Company written on the side. It's more interesting, and doesn't take so long.'


'There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!'


'A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.'



-Terry Pratchett

[lancaster]

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" Winston
Churchill
"90% of life is showing up" Woody Allen
"Many terrible things happened to me and I didn't go
crazy" Jackie Kennedy
"Man plans, God laughs" my mother

[insomniac]

"Now that I've substituted food for sex, I can't even get into my own pants!"

(Sorry, I don't know who originated that.)

[yankee]

oh, insomniac...that may be my new favorite!!!

[insomniac]

Glad you liked that, Yankee. It's amazing the funny stuff that gets circulated on the Internet. To-wit:

"Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail; and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis."

Sorry, I just couldn't resist. I love puns. Have a great week, everybody! :>)

[yankee]

oh, insomniac (again)...not only do i deeply relate to your name, but you have given me a laugh that i really really needed...i thank you from the bottom of my heart...

[Vhisky]

'It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously.'


'Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.'



-Peter Ustinov

[occaseshpr]

insomniac, you've given me two more to add to my permanent file!!! The 'food for sex' one is only too easy to relate to! ;) and it provides a visual, which is another thing I enjoy.

I'm a punster too...I've heard/read tons of them, but the Ghandi one is new to me. Good ones! THANKS!!!

[Momof2]

Celestia, I am a dog lover. Thats a beautiful quote, which I had seen before but forgot. Thank you for reminding me. It brings a tear to my eyes each time I read it. Time to snuggle on the sofa with my doggies!

[EskieRuth]

Sometimes your the windshield and sometimes your the bug!!!

line from a song by Mary Chapin-Carpenter which I don't remember the title of.

[awesome 1]

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.



Just as an aside, under my screen name it gives my last lurking date as "Dec. 31, 1969". Don't know how to change this but it's pretty amusing since the Internet was nonexistant. I think in December of 1969 my extent of high tech may have been my close n'play and my collection of 45's.

[insomniac]

Yankee, Occaseshpr: Only the very best for my fellow dysfunctionals (dysfunctionites?) (dysfunctioneers?) (dysfunctionistas?) :>)

P.S. Yankee, hope you're having a better day today!